The potato chip lecture

Sunday, August 7, 2011

There are a few times I miss having children.  If I see something really cute that my child would look adorable in, when I see a child that is cute, maybe even doing something cute and when I need to blame someone for something I may (or may not) have done.  Sometimes I can use the dogs for this purpose and it pans out nicely. Last night, I was faced with a situation that I could have used an extra family member for.

Before we continue, I should provide a little bit of background. My Mother taught me long ago that when you have hamburger (or chicken or hotdogs) and you have potato chips, you have the makings for a meal.  Your options are endless, so we always keep a bag of potato chips for just such a meal completing crisis. In addition, Will enjoys tortilla chips and salsa as a snack, so we keep those on hand as well.

Last night we stopped and got a new bag of chips to complete our turkey burger meal.  Upon arriving home and getting dinner underway, Will pulls out four or five bags of opened chips and looks to me as if I had been a very bad girl.  "Why did we just buy a new bag of chips when we have ALL these open?  Why did you find it necessary to open all these."  I was clearly in a bind.  With no one else to blame, I had to activate the blame deflector technique.  First step, become surprised by the situation. "I didn't know all those bags were open. And I thought you had eaten all the Lays potato chips."  Second step, come up with a plausible reason this happened. "Those bags probably got pushed to the back where I couldn't see them, otherwise there is no way I would have opened them. I mean, that shelf is low, I don't get on my knees when I pull stuff out. Besides, those organic tortilla chips were from when we had the Cooley's over."  Now, step three, close the deal - redirect the blame to the only other person in the house by reiterating that it isn't your fault. "Probably when you put them away last time, the other bags got pushed back, so how could I have known?"  Follow that with a look that combines innocence with dismissal of the situation.  Even when Will continued to give me a look that indicated he was skeptical, he couldn't argue with my logic.  I like to think it was a victory.