Boob-do

Do you ever look at your belly and say to yourself, "when the hell did that happen?"  When did I get a case of "Boob-do?"  Boob-do is when your belly sticks out further than your boobs do.  (For men, it's called "Dick-do.")

Today, I was feeling reckless and did something scandalous, I got dressed without my FCD - Fat Controlling Device.  I mean, it doesn't turn me into America's Next Top Model, but it does smooth it down so I go from roly Michelin man to round Stay Puff Marshmallow man.  But today I wore a top that didn't require such restriction, so with no cares, I went spandex free.  This is what leads me to my introductory question.  I kept getting glimpses of my unharnessed belly and I thought, "when exactly did this get so out of hand?"  I'll sit up straighter, I thought.  Nope, it's still there.  I'll suck it in, I thought...I said, I'll suck it in....crap, I'm sucking in and nothing is happening.  I mean, my pancreas might have twitched, but there was no outer sign that any sucking in was occurring.  I let my air out.  Then I stood there and let it all go and pooched it out and petted it like I was 16 months pregnant.  I think I need to do something about this Boob-do problem.  I have also noticed that when I lay down at night, my boobs head east and west and all I see is the belly if I look down.

I think I will take action, but it is going to have to wait a day or so, because my boss left me a bag of those mini chocolate donettes on my desk.  I can't let them go to waste. Well, then it's the weekend...by Monday, for sure, that's when I will really get on the wagon.