How much naked is too much naked?

When we are growing up, we run around naked and never think much of it. My brother and I took baths together when we were little kids, like one or two years old.  I remember him farting in the tub thinking it was the funnest thing ever.  Gross. We didn't bathe together much after that. Then, as we got older, we ran around in our underwear and pjs, whatever.  Enter the teen years and things get a little more covered up as our bodies get weird.

Fast forward to adult life. There comes a time when naked is good and naked is bad.  I remember the day I brought Will home to meet my family for the first time when we were dating.  My sister was in a string bikini that left very little to the imagination.  Add into the mix the fact that she had an episode of Queer as Folk on the TV (with a pretty racy scene happening) and Will was thinking, "wow, liberal family..."  It was a lot of naked at once. 

I remember Will's parents coming over to stay with us when we were living together.  Our good dog Chip jumped in bed to say good morning, as excited as a wiener dog could be, and pee'd all over my future mother-in-law from head to toe, literally.  She whipped off her night shirt as soon as she realized she was pee soaked (complete with pee in her hair) and boom, naked.  This is too much naked.  My future father-in-law was not to be left out.  I got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and there, with the door wide open illuminated in the bathroom under the glow of the night light with his "loosey looms" (the opposite of tighty whities) around his ankles, was my father-in-law.  I gave the courtesy, "woops, sorry" and returned to my bedroom...lying there wondering if peeing the bed was really that bad.  This is also too much naked.

I also enjoyed the time when Will's whole family was staying with us in our tiny house on the weekend of our wedding.  A dog fight broke out at the crack of dawn and Will jumped out of bed running down the hall putting his boxers on as he ran.  For Will's sister, who was coming out of the guest room, this was way too much naked.

My favorite naked moment was when we heard possums screwing and fighting loudly on our garage roof at 2AM.  Will in the backyard naked with his Daisy Red Ryder shooting possums was like Kevin Costner in Dances With Wolves...he was magnificent under the full moon light. I've never been more proud...and I've never laughed so hard.  This is why I married this guy.  Perhaps for our neighbors, this was too much naked.

My sister has also learned to knock before she enters our house.  A couple of very close calls with Will making his way from bathroom to upstairs after shower, or "chillin" on the couch. I think my sister lives a little more cautiously ever since she ran across my brother in the driveway late at night sitting in his truck...waiving her by with a naked arm out of the window....apparently he had a visitor.  My sister still can't talk about that night without shuddering.

I guess what really has me thinking about all this nakedness is the events of the weekend. The in laws were visiting.  We live in a tiny house/cabin.  No privacy except the bathroom as the bedroom/loft is open.  My Mother-in-law came upstairs at 6:30AM to climb into bed with Will and I.  She realized upon coming upstairs that this was not really going to work since Will sleeps naked.  This is too much naked.  I draw the line about being in bed with my husband and mother-in-law while any one or all of us could be naked. 

Then, it happened, the perfect storm to be repeated once again.  I couldn't find my glasses, was looking high and low, and I thought, maybe I left them in the bathroom.  The door was not latched and I opened it.  There sat my father-in-law, all vulnerable reading what very well could have been my Glamour or Cosmo. I didn't stop to take note of what he was reading, but the bathroom really doesn't have many options in there.  If Will is  going to learn anything about women, this is what I have to do.  He spends a lot of time in there, so might as well get something out of it, I figure.  Anyway, once again, too much naked.

In conclusion, naked husband = right amount of naked.  Naked siblings or in-laws = WRONG amount of naked.