Olive Garden ruins romance with all you can eat pasta

Will and I's anniversary is coming up, which isn't really a big deal, we don't get all crazy about it.  Don't get me wrong, we still love each other and actually still like each other, but then, it's only been 4 years, or it will be this Labor Day weekend.  We saw a commercial on TV last night that brought all the memories back from our very first anniversary.  It was an Olive Garden commercial talking about "All You Can Eat Pasta."  Let me  tell you how Olive Garden ruined my very special, first wedding anniversary.

We couldn't afford to do anything very extravagant due to life's events that depleted our money supply, but we could afford to go to Olive Garden with our good friends Chuck and Pete and their little boy, our adopted nephew, Brett.  I knew immediately upon reading the menu that my anniversary was sunk.  They were advertising all you can eat pasta.  I could see the sparkle in his eye...I wasn't having sex tonight, this I knew with certainty.  Will ate his pasta dish and then the waitress, his enabler, came over and asked him if he would like to try this other kind of pasta, after all it was free.  Will could not resist free and it was yummy. As predicted, he patted his belly, clearly in agony and groaned.  He had maxed out the stomach area.

We headed out to the parking lot to bid our friends adieu as they needed to go to a meeting.  I said, "why don't you let me watch Brett for you while you go to your meeting."  They declined saying that they could not do that to us on our first anniversary together.  I assured them the following was about to occur.  We would arrive home. Will would get in his pj's, turn on the TV and shortly thereafter be asleep.  This was how it would play out, I was certain. Reluctantly, Chuck and Pete agreed to let me watch Brett.  And yes, I said "me" watch Brett because Will was not part of the equation, he had digesting to do.

Brett was very happy to be at our house because, at 3 years old, his favorite thing to do at Auntie Cassondra's was to pile all of my stuffed ponies (which, my collection is large and plentiful, so it is A LOT of stuffed ponies) and pillows in the front room and strip down naked in the middle of them and watch TV.  He, too, was predictable on this night.  The ponies were piled high, his clothes came off and he was asking for "hi-cream" aka ice cream.  I realized two things.  First, this was the only naked man I was going to see on this special one year anniversary.  Second, I really would like to try laying naked in those stuffed ponies and eat ice cream.  It really did look like a good time.  However, this was not something I wanted to do with Brett, that would be pervy.  But someday, Will is going to come home and find me naked in the ponies. Timing is everything.

So, I guess what I am saying is, we are NOT going to Olive Garden for our four year anniversary.  I saw Will's face light up last night when he saw that commercial.  I'm saying no to pasta coma and yes to romantic evening, even if it means starving him and breaking out the stuffed ponies.