More body observations...

You know how when you have a jar or container of something gel like, say ketchup, and it falls over on it's side and all the ketchup then settles on that side?  Well, all this free living without the FCD has got me noticing that my stomach is bigger on the right side than it is on the left.  I've been pondering this phenomenon and have come up with the following possibilities.

First, it is possible that because I mostly sleep on my right side that everything has migrated, like ketchup.  The problem is, how do I fix it?  When I stand up, it doesn't seem to correct itself.  With a ketchup bottle, you just smack the bottle, or if it is a soft squeeze one, you smack it on a counter or shake and squeeze the stuff out.  I don't really want anyone smacking me around, so that isn't going to work.  Maybe i need to build some sort of harness and sleep hanging from my right side so that all my organs are forced to either hang on, or make the trip back over. Kind of like Cirq du Solei (sp) therapy.

The second theory is that it could be some sort of organ party going on down there.  Like the intestines said, "hey, let's head over to the gall bladder! She just ate a bunch of ice cream and you know how the gall bladder hates dairy, there could be a surplus just sitting there."  And then the intestines and some of their friends came over and they are like, "crap, now we're all tangled up and can't get home."  If this is the scenario, I think surgery is the only option.

I do have other things that are bigger on the right than on the left, like my boobs and my feet, but I think that is pretty normal.  My concern is that all this lop-sidedness could cause some sort of walking problem, like now it constantly looks like the wind is pushing at me when I walk.  I'll have to get a cane to keep myself from falling over. Pretty soon, hunchback will set in and I will have this weird urge to ring church bells.  I'm kind of worried about it.

To anyone who might have stumbled upon this blog and read "Boob-do" and now this, you may be thinking "This chick sounds hideous."  I just want to clarify, it isn't like I have a googley eye, hairy moles, a beard, 4 inch arms and a peg leg.  I mean, on a scale ranging from Circus Freak to America's Next Top Model, I like to think I fall somewhere in the middle.

Anyway, that concludes the body observation portion of my day.