Do you ever find yourself saying, "I hate that guy!" or girl, as the case may be? I know I do. It's habit, I guess. We use the word hate to really drive home our level of dislike or disgust. My boss said to me a while back, "I don't like to use the word hate. It's too strong and cold and ultimately, hate gives that person power in your life and causes you to spend energy. Why do you want to spend energy on someone you don't like? Why give them that power?" Very true. It's such a simple word, hate. We all use it all the time. "I hate how I look in these pants." "I hate my hair today." "I hate people driving slow in the fast lane." And on it goes.
Hating a person really does take up a lot of real-estate in your head. When you hate someone, you get worked up, your blood pressure increases, you might get sick to your stomach, you might even fantasize about what it would be like to trip that person as they walk by, or wish horrible things to happen to them. That is some seriously negative energy. I'm not saying you can't or shouldn't dislike someone. I think that's normal, that's healthy, that's life. What you choose to do with that feeling is what separates us.
This week I have been thinking a lot about hate in light of events in Orlando, Florida over the past weekend. Someone hated so badly that they took it upon themselves to destroy many lives in a matter of minutes. All because that person didn't like the lifestyle. I'm sure he had many other reasons in his head and I'm not going to pretend to know all of the reasons, or guess on his feelings, but it doesn't take a rocket-scientist to see the result of whatever internal justification he had. That result being, evil, destruction, terrorism...hate.
In the hours and days following, people are instantly making this about gun control, politics, racism, discrimination, oppression, immigration and on and on. While there is no doubt there is a connection to all of that, it doesn't change what it was really about, which is hate.
I saw several people posting on social media about how this specific event wasn't actually the biggest act of terrorism in our history. Several people came up with other examples of battles, murder, racism and other impactful events. I don't argue with any of those people. I saw yet another post that said something to the effect of why post a rainbow flag? Why not post an American flag? After all, this attack was not just on the gay community, but Americans. I would take it a step further. This attack was on human beings. People full of life with family and friends and their whole life ahead of them. I don't want to focus on their sexual preference, their race, their culture, their lifestyle. They were PEOPLE. I understand that the underlying reason for their murders was due to their lifestyle, but I'd like to not categorize them. I'd like to just see them as sons, daughters, sisters, brothers, friends, neighbors, etc. I know, I'm living in a fairy-tale world. And in saying that, I'm not trying to take away that they were gay, that's not it. They should be proud of who they are. I'm just saying if we ever want to truly achieve equality, let's call them people. I guess we aren't at that point in society where we can say that, sadly. I do know if it had been a night club where a bunch of straight people hung out, the headlines would have been different. The focus would have been different. I just feel like, in my heart, they were people that were tragically taken from us, regardless.
And, I get we have to understand the past and history to not repeat it, but in this day and age of everyone getting butt-hurt and offended by everyone else's opinions and people forcing their beliefs on others, it feels like we are constantly focusing on our differences and the division between all of us instead of just focusing on the simple fact that we all share this earth together. Sure, that's naive of me to say. It's not that simple. Lord knows I've been told a few times that I am a straight white woman, so after all, what could I possibly understand about diversity and the struggles of other races or cultures. That's right, my opinion doesn't mean much, to some. I get it, but let me explain. When I was growing up, my parents never told me that I couldn't do what I wanted in life. Never told me I couldn't do something because I was a woman. I was even a fat kid and they never told me I couldn't do something because I was fat. I get there is a "glass ceiling" out there and there are injustices in salaries and such, but honestly, I didn't focus on that, because my parents didn't make it a focus. I haven't spent my life searching for equality as a woman. I've spent my life searching for equality as a person. I've spent my life looking at people as people. Not a black person or a gay person or a disabled person, or whatever. I've spent my life thinking, "If you're nice to me, I'm nice to you." I've spent my life thinking, "If what you are doing in your life is not hurting me in my life, then live your life the way you want."
I've spent an entire childhood being the kid that got bullied in school for being overweight and I watch today's kids get bullied ten times worse than I ever did. At some point, the parents have to take responsibility. Teach your child acceptance and tolerance. Teach your child kindness. Teach your child it's okay to not like someone, but it is not okay to hate them. Teach your child that sometimes life is hard for everyone and we need to help those struggling instead of holding them down. If I had a child, I would teach them those things.
I had one of my friends post something about the devastation of the last week and telling us to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Don't just sit there and change your profile picture to a flag, don't just put a sad emoji, DO SOMETHING. I don't know what my power is, honestly. I often times feel hopeless about our future as a human race based on the constant turmoil. I don't know how to change the world, other than to say, I will not hate. I will make a conscious effort to say that I dislike something instead of giving hate energy. I will continue to raise up those around me when I can. I will continue to remind myself that everyone has a struggle and to judge less and be more kind. That is the power I have. I ask everyone else to use that power as well.
I realize I grazed over some pretty heavy topics pretty lightly in my writing tonight, but that was purposeful. I don't want to debate racism, terrorism, politics, gun laws, religion or sexuality. Those things are important, but the base of it all is love and hate and our capacity for kindness. I just wanted to say, love more, hate less.
On a side note, a little less serious, I will say, if the person that wrote "FU" on the mens room wall at work keeps it up, I'm going to slap a brother in the back of the head and that has nothing to do with hate and everything to do with admin justice. Peace.
Hating a person really does take up a lot of real-estate in your head. When you hate someone, you get worked up, your blood pressure increases, you might get sick to your stomach, you might even fantasize about what it would be like to trip that person as they walk by, or wish horrible things to happen to them. That is some seriously negative energy. I'm not saying you can't or shouldn't dislike someone. I think that's normal, that's healthy, that's life. What you choose to do with that feeling is what separates us.
This week I have been thinking a lot about hate in light of events in Orlando, Florida over the past weekend. Someone hated so badly that they took it upon themselves to destroy many lives in a matter of minutes. All because that person didn't like the lifestyle. I'm sure he had many other reasons in his head and I'm not going to pretend to know all of the reasons, or guess on his feelings, but it doesn't take a rocket-scientist to see the result of whatever internal justification he had. That result being, evil, destruction, terrorism...hate.
In the hours and days following, people are instantly making this about gun control, politics, racism, discrimination, oppression, immigration and on and on. While there is no doubt there is a connection to all of that, it doesn't change what it was really about, which is hate.
I saw several people posting on social media about how this specific event wasn't actually the biggest act of terrorism in our history. Several people came up with other examples of battles, murder, racism and other impactful events. I don't argue with any of those people. I saw yet another post that said something to the effect of why post a rainbow flag? Why not post an American flag? After all, this attack was not just on the gay community, but Americans. I would take it a step further. This attack was on human beings. People full of life with family and friends and their whole life ahead of them. I don't want to focus on their sexual preference, their race, their culture, their lifestyle. They were PEOPLE. I understand that the underlying reason for their murders was due to their lifestyle, but I'd like to not categorize them. I'd like to just see them as sons, daughters, sisters, brothers, friends, neighbors, etc. I know, I'm living in a fairy-tale world. And in saying that, I'm not trying to take away that they were gay, that's not it. They should be proud of who they are. I'm just saying if we ever want to truly achieve equality, let's call them people. I guess we aren't at that point in society where we can say that, sadly. I do know if it had been a night club where a bunch of straight people hung out, the headlines would have been different. The focus would have been different. I just feel like, in my heart, they were people that were tragically taken from us, regardless.
And, I get we have to understand the past and history to not repeat it, but in this day and age of everyone getting butt-hurt and offended by everyone else's opinions and people forcing their beliefs on others, it feels like we are constantly focusing on our differences and the division between all of us instead of just focusing on the simple fact that we all share this earth together. Sure, that's naive of me to say. It's not that simple. Lord knows I've been told a few times that I am a straight white woman, so after all, what could I possibly understand about diversity and the struggles of other races or cultures. That's right, my opinion doesn't mean much, to some. I get it, but let me explain. When I was growing up, my parents never told me that I couldn't do what I wanted in life. Never told me I couldn't do something because I was a woman. I was even a fat kid and they never told me I couldn't do something because I was fat. I get there is a "glass ceiling" out there and there are injustices in salaries and such, but honestly, I didn't focus on that, because my parents didn't make it a focus. I haven't spent my life searching for equality as a woman. I've spent my life searching for equality as a person. I've spent my life looking at people as people. Not a black person or a gay person or a disabled person, or whatever. I've spent my life thinking, "If you're nice to me, I'm nice to you." I've spent my life thinking, "If what you are doing in your life is not hurting me in my life, then live your life the way you want."
I've spent an entire childhood being the kid that got bullied in school for being overweight and I watch today's kids get bullied ten times worse than I ever did. At some point, the parents have to take responsibility. Teach your child acceptance and tolerance. Teach your child kindness. Teach your child it's okay to not like someone, but it is not okay to hate them. Teach your child that sometimes life is hard for everyone and we need to help those struggling instead of holding them down. If I had a child, I would teach them those things.
I had one of my friends post something about the devastation of the last week and telling us to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Don't just sit there and change your profile picture to a flag, don't just put a sad emoji, DO SOMETHING. I don't know what my power is, honestly. I often times feel hopeless about our future as a human race based on the constant turmoil. I don't know how to change the world, other than to say, I will not hate. I will make a conscious effort to say that I dislike something instead of giving hate energy. I will continue to raise up those around me when I can. I will continue to remind myself that everyone has a struggle and to judge less and be more kind. That is the power I have. I ask everyone else to use that power as well.
I realize I grazed over some pretty heavy topics pretty lightly in my writing tonight, but that was purposeful. I don't want to debate racism, terrorism, politics, gun laws, religion or sexuality. Those things are important, but the base of it all is love and hate and our capacity for kindness. I just wanted to say, love more, hate less.
On a side note, a little less serious, I will say, if the person that wrote "FU" on the mens room wall at work keeps it up, I'm going to slap a brother in the back of the head and that has nothing to do with hate and everything to do with admin justice. Peace.
