I finally got some good sleep last night. So good, in fact, that I overslept. For some reason I didn't set my alarm last night. I was having a weird dream about how I couldn't get to work and then I finally woke up. I laid there and thought, something doesn't seem right. I rolled over and looked at the clock. It said 6:49AM. Holy crap! This is a problem! Normally I get up between 5:30AM -6:00AM. I needed to be at work early today because of day two of the open house and now that was virtually impossible.
I went out and fed the ponies, who looked at me like I was a total criminal for not being there sooner. I told them if they wanted to see criminals they should come to the open house. I threw myself together and off to work I go. I hear on the radio that traffic is totally screwed, this is just not my day. I'm going to need a hot chocolate.
I arrived at work 30 minutes late. I had already missed the rush of hopeful applicants. Damn. I worked the screening table and was able to successfully deter a guy that was dressed for a job interview at Harley Davidson or the Hells Angels, not sure which. After considering all I had to say about our great opportunity, he left. Then, I signed in the smelly guy that had worked for a ton of call centers. Okay, if you have worked for a ton of call centers, that doesn't make you a desirable candidate...just so you know. Yeah, cuz we are dying to dump a bunch of money and effort into training your smelly ass, only for you to quit on a whim. And, P.S., if I can smell you across the table, it's time for a shower, or at least stop in the rain for a few minutes without your coat on.
And just like that, the open house is over. We clean up the carnage of the open house and one of the HR gals, that has been working on a recruiting video decides she needs to video my boss coming out of his office and then he will say something very intellectual, yet fun, about our company. But before he comes out, aforementioned HR gal wants a shot of me standing at my desk smiling and waving. STOP. First, I am over-due to have my high-lights redone in my hair. I have a little grow-out going on. Second, I hear the camera adds 10 pounds. This is a weight gain I cannot withstand. And finally, I am not the face of our company. I am the face of fat girls fighting for calorie free ice cream, a comfortable chair at the movies and jeans that fit. I am the face of bitterness, sarcasm and angst. I am the face of "if you don't get the hell away from me, I will cut you." This can't be happening to me. So, I stand there, roots hanging out, with a fake pursed lip smile, waving like an idiot. I wanted to do the Miss America wave (Never about the crown ladies, NEVER above the crown - elbow, elbow, wrist, wrist) , but they wanted something more "casual." I only have one wave, and that is the princess wave. Nonetheless, I acquiesced and performed like the trained seal I am. I can't wait to see the final edit on this. The biggest challenge was watching my boss in action as he walked out of his office in his new red sweater all Rico Suave-like talking about what a great place this is to work. I'll be honest, I had to turn around and bite my lip to keep from laughing. I gave some suggestions about what he could say, but I don't think they wanted my spin. Anyway, my boss is a good sport, he rocked that video. LOL.
The rest of the day can only be described as the hours I spent trying not to eat all the left over cookies from the open house. I won't talk about my success rate. Stupid open house cookies.
Anyway, I am home now and am super excited because my doctor prescribed a muscle relaxer cocktail for my siatic nerve that is totally pissed off on my left side. If I play my cards right, I'll be drewling and slumping in my chair tomorrow singing "Red Solo Cup."
I went out and fed the ponies, who looked at me like I was a total criminal for not being there sooner. I told them if they wanted to see criminals they should come to the open house. I threw myself together and off to work I go. I hear on the radio that traffic is totally screwed, this is just not my day. I'm going to need a hot chocolate.
I arrived at work 30 minutes late. I had already missed the rush of hopeful applicants. Damn. I worked the screening table and was able to successfully deter a guy that was dressed for a job interview at Harley Davidson or the Hells Angels, not sure which. After considering all I had to say about our great opportunity, he left. Then, I signed in the smelly guy that had worked for a ton of call centers. Okay, if you have worked for a ton of call centers, that doesn't make you a desirable candidate...just so you know. Yeah, cuz we are dying to dump a bunch of money and effort into training your smelly ass, only for you to quit on a whim. And, P.S., if I can smell you across the table, it's time for a shower, or at least stop in the rain for a few minutes without your coat on.
And just like that, the open house is over. We clean up the carnage of the open house and one of the HR gals, that has been working on a recruiting video decides she needs to video my boss coming out of his office and then he will say something very intellectual, yet fun, about our company. But before he comes out, aforementioned HR gal wants a shot of me standing at my desk smiling and waving. STOP. First, I am over-due to have my high-lights redone in my hair. I have a little grow-out going on. Second, I hear the camera adds 10 pounds. This is a weight gain I cannot withstand. And finally, I am not the face of our company. I am the face of fat girls fighting for calorie free ice cream, a comfortable chair at the movies and jeans that fit. I am the face of bitterness, sarcasm and angst. I am the face of "if you don't get the hell away from me, I will cut you." This can't be happening to me. So, I stand there, roots hanging out, with a fake pursed lip smile, waving like an idiot. I wanted to do the Miss America wave (Never about the crown ladies, NEVER above the crown - elbow, elbow, wrist, wrist) , but they wanted something more "casual." I only have one wave, and that is the princess wave. Nonetheless, I acquiesced and performed like the trained seal I am. I can't wait to see the final edit on this. The biggest challenge was watching my boss in action as he walked out of his office in his new red sweater all Rico Suave-like talking about what a great place this is to work. I'll be honest, I had to turn around and bite my lip to keep from laughing. I gave some suggestions about what he could say, but I don't think they wanted my spin. Anyway, my boss is a good sport, he rocked that video. LOL.
The rest of the day can only be described as the hours I spent trying not to eat all the left over cookies from the open house. I won't talk about my success rate. Stupid open house cookies.
Anyway, I am home now and am super excited because my doctor prescribed a muscle relaxer cocktail for my siatic nerve that is totally pissed off on my left side. If I play my cards right, I'll be drewling and slumping in my chair tomorrow singing "Red Solo Cup."
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