"Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays." A historic line from a masterpiece of a movie, Office Space. It rang incredibly true today for this girl.
First hit came when I woke up only to realize it was 6:24AM. My alarm is supposed to wake me up at 5:30AM. Our power had gone out over the weekend and I guess my alarm didn't get reset. This is not an insurmountable challenge, but does not start my day in a good place. I threw myself together in record time and started down the driveway in my truck. I look over towards the barn, and there is one of the young horses named Mini. She is standing there leaning over the fence and chewing on the tarp that is covering the shavings. Please explain to me why this stupid horse is eating a tarp when she has a nice flake of $14.74 a bale alfalfa in her stall? Clearly we are overspending on these horses. I should drive some junk cars out there and really let her get her belly full.
I continued my journey to work and had gotten about a mile away and I was thinking I should call someone to let them know I was running late. Sh*t. I forgot my damn phone. I turn around and go back. I retrieve my phone. My dogs act like I have been gone all day and are ecstatic to see me. Off I go again. I meander down the valley and look, there is the freaking train. The arms came down before I could get to the tracks. I wasn't going to pull any Smokey and the Bandit hi-jinks, so I waited, doing a slow burn.
I decide as late as I am, I might as well stop and get a hot chocolate. My normal girl apparently isn't there and the abnormal girl has a line of 5 cars. I contemplate bolting, but then decide...screw it, I'm getting a freaking hot chocolate. After finally getting one, I'm back on course. I get on the freeway, I'm making good time, so far no one is pissing me off. And then it happened, grid-lock. Son..of..a..bitch. Accident involving two semi's. We are now at a dead stop. Today just isn't my day.
I finally arrived at work without further incident. I don't even know why I went in. The universe was telling me to to stay home. Damn the universe. Unfortunately, the universe doesn't approve my vacation days and calling out sick was not an option. Employment is important. We are on vacation lock-down right now due to our system conversion. It's all hands on deck, no excuses. I don't think an excuse like, "all signs indicated I should stay home" would fly. I've used the excuse of "anal glaucoma" (translation - can't see my ass going into work) before and so I don't want to over abuse that one. The energy in the air was tense and everyone looked stressed. I wanted to run screaming. I have a tendency to absorb others stress, I don't know why, I just do. I guess I'm a problem solver and a care-taker. Unfortunately the only resolution to the problem I was having was to take my ass into a padded cell and scream until I was mute. Turns out ordering such a room would have been my job and I didn't do that. I sent my bosses an email letting them know we needed a padded room ASAP. Apparently, it isn't in the budget. Sad.
I survived the day and actually got to leave early to go to Bowen therapy. Bowen therapy is what is making it so I can walk again. Don't ask me to explain it, go look it up. It's kind of a pressure point kind of therapy. Anyway, this is what is helping me get better. Who knew the muscle relaxers, chiropractors, physical therapists and doctors would be useless, but this woman that does Bowen treatment is my hero. Tonight's therapy was involving some more pressure moves on my back and knees...and also my pelvis. The pressure points to "unlock" my pelvis are on both sides of my hoo-hoo. I'm telling you, it doesn't matter who it is, these people cannot keep their hands off me. No one is immune to my sexuality, apparently. Well, except my husband. He is doing the head-bob, half sleep thing while "watching" the Daytona 500. None of my ailments seduce him, but I digress.
I finished my Bowen treatment and then headed to the store. I needed a few things, plus, I had to pick up flowers for the hiring open house tomorrow. I get my stuff, go to check-out and I manage to pick the line that has a problem with the receipt printer dealie-bob. The guy in front of me is passionate about having a receipt, so I wait...and wait. Then I get up there, get my stuff and a receipt prints, no problem. I purchase the flowers with the corporate card and guess what, it won't print. The checker says he's sorry. I'm like, I have to have one for my expense report. He sends me to customer service. The gal informs me that she can get me a receipt copy, but the machine will need to print every receipt from the entire day and it's only on 9AM right now. Are you kidding me? I said, "well, can you give me a hand-written receipt?" She says, "Oh yeah, totally!" She informs me it will just take her a minute. She comes back out and hands me a teeny tiny post-it that says, "Flowers $4.33." Again, are you kidding me? Well, this post-it surely will stand up on my expense report. I stood there and stared at her, deciding in my head just how far I wanted to go with this. It only took me a moment to think, "F*ck it." I thanked her and walked out. She was all perky and said, "You're welcome!!!" and bounced away. I need a muscle relaxer.
Finally, I am driving home. I am off the freeway and on the home stretch. Just past Angry Pony's house, a black cat runs out in front of me. I slammed on my breaks and missed him. ENOUGH already!!! I proceed with caution, cross over the railroad tracks and then look in my rear-view mirror...the train track arms are coming down...here comes the train. FINALLY!!! A win for Cassondra.
I gotta go feed the ponies some hay and maybe some tarp straps and then go to bed, because I need some sleep if Tuesday is going to try and top Monday. I sure hope someone shows up to the open house with a Unicorn Poop shirt. I need some entertainment.
First hit came when I woke up only to realize it was 6:24AM. My alarm is supposed to wake me up at 5:30AM. Our power had gone out over the weekend and I guess my alarm didn't get reset. This is not an insurmountable challenge, but does not start my day in a good place. I threw myself together in record time and started down the driveway in my truck. I look over towards the barn, and there is one of the young horses named Mini. She is standing there leaning over the fence and chewing on the tarp that is covering the shavings. Please explain to me why this stupid horse is eating a tarp when she has a nice flake of $14.74 a bale alfalfa in her stall? Clearly we are overspending on these horses. I should drive some junk cars out there and really let her get her belly full.
I continued my journey to work and had gotten about a mile away and I was thinking I should call someone to let them know I was running late. Sh*t. I forgot my damn phone. I turn around and go back. I retrieve my phone. My dogs act like I have been gone all day and are ecstatic to see me. Off I go again. I meander down the valley and look, there is the freaking train. The arms came down before I could get to the tracks. I wasn't going to pull any Smokey and the Bandit hi-jinks, so I waited, doing a slow burn.
I decide as late as I am, I might as well stop and get a hot chocolate. My normal girl apparently isn't there and the abnormal girl has a line of 5 cars. I contemplate bolting, but then decide...screw it, I'm getting a freaking hot chocolate. After finally getting one, I'm back on course. I get on the freeway, I'm making good time, so far no one is pissing me off. And then it happened, grid-lock. Son..of..a..bitch. Accident involving two semi's. We are now at a dead stop. Today just isn't my day.
I finally arrived at work without further incident. I don't even know why I went in. The universe was telling me to to stay home. Damn the universe. Unfortunately, the universe doesn't approve my vacation days and calling out sick was not an option. Employment is important. We are on vacation lock-down right now due to our system conversion. It's all hands on deck, no excuses. I don't think an excuse like, "all signs indicated I should stay home" would fly. I've used the excuse of "anal glaucoma" (translation - can't see my ass going into work) before and so I don't want to over abuse that one. The energy in the air was tense and everyone looked stressed. I wanted to run screaming. I have a tendency to absorb others stress, I don't know why, I just do. I guess I'm a problem solver and a care-taker. Unfortunately the only resolution to the problem I was having was to take my ass into a padded cell and scream until I was mute. Turns out ordering such a room would have been my job and I didn't do that. I sent my bosses an email letting them know we needed a padded room ASAP. Apparently, it isn't in the budget. Sad.
I survived the day and actually got to leave early to go to Bowen therapy. Bowen therapy is what is making it so I can walk again. Don't ask me to explain it, go look it up. It's kind of a pressure point kind of therapy. Anyway, this is what is helping me get better. Who knew the muscle relaxers, chiropractors, physical therapists and doctors would be useless, but this woman that does Bowen treatment is my hero. Tonight's therapy was involving some more pressure moves on my back and knees...and also my pelvis. The pressure points to "unlock" my pelvis are on both sides of my hoo-hoo. I'm telling you, it doesn't matter who it is, these people cannot keep their hands off me. No one is immune to my sexuality, apparently. Well, except my husband. He is doing the head-bob, half sleep thing while "watching" the Daytona 500. None of my ailments seduce him, but I digress.
I finished my Bowen treatment and then headed to the store. I needed a few things, plus, I had to pick up flowers for the hiring open house tomorrow. I get my stuff, go to check-out and I manage to pick the line that has a problem with the receipt printer dealie-bob. The guy in front of me is passionate about having a receipt, so I wait...and wait. Then I get up there, get my stuff and a receipt prints, no problem. I purchase the flowers with the corporate card and guess what, it won't print. The checker says he's sorry. I'm like, I have to have one for my expense report. He sends me to customer service. The gal informs me that she can get me a receipt copy, but the machine will need to print every receipt from the entire day and it's only on 9AM right now. Are you kidding me? I said, "well, can you give me a hand-written receipt?" She says, "Oh yeah, totally!" She informs me it will just take her a minute. She comes back out and hands me a teeny tiny post-it that says, "Flowers $4.33." Again, are you kidding me? Well, this post-it surely will stand up on my expense report. I stood there and stared at her, deciding in my head just how far I wanted to go with this. It only took me a moment to think, "F*ck it." I thanked her and walked out. She was all perky and said, "You're welcome!!!" and bounced away. I need a muscle relaxer.
Finally, I am driving home. I am off the freeway and on the home stretch. Just past Angry Pony's house, a black cat runs out in front of me. I slammed on my breaks and missed him. ENOUGH already!!! I proceed with caution, cross over the railroad tracks and then look in my rear-view mirror...the train track arms are coming down...here comes the train. FINALLY!!! A win for Cassondra.
I gotta go feed the ponies some hay and maybe some tarp straps and then go to bed, because I need some sleep if Tuesday is going to try and top Monday. I sure hope someone shows up to the open house with a Unicorn Poop shirt. I need some entertainment.
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