Today was yet another hiring open house. I arrive to work to discover that two of my key players have taken vacation days. Another of my players has to leave early. Are YOU PEOPLE serious? It isn't like I sprung this open house on anyone. I mean, sure, I thought of taking a vacation day too, but I knew better. I marched into my bosses office and had "a talk" with him about the state of the union. There was finger pointing, foot stomping, yelling and hair tossing. I said what needed to be said about aforementioned vacationing slackers and left. My work here was done.
I returned to my desk and Valerie and I informed my boss of how things were about to go down. We cancelled the morning meeting, then we were going to do this, this and this. Bossman looked at us and said, "I think I have given you too much power, I think it is time to take some back." Valerie and I looked at each other, paused, and then threw back our heads and laughed. Like the thought of taking power away was even an option. My boss is funny.
My day progressed, I blew up balloons, ran around taking care of business with my faithful side-kick, Valerie, and prepared for what was to be a busy open house. As luck would have it, there were not enough copies of the paperwork needed, so I ran around taking care of that, making sure everyone's needs were taken care of. From the 5th floor, to the 4th floor, to the 2nd floor, down to the 1st floor and back to the 5th. This was nuts. I wanted to kill people. Why do people think it's funny to poke the bear when I am involved in this process? One of the managers in particular, let's call him Jackass, decided to quiz me about the number of copies we had and why they weren't already assembled in the rooms we were using for interviews. Mind you, I had just explained the process and how we were handling things. Then, I no sooner threaten to choke the life from his body when one of the other key players, let's call her, Oblivious, asks me, "so is our paperwork in the rooms for us?" I snapped my head around, looked her in the eyes while my nostrils flared, for just a moment and I spoke to her in a slow, calm, albeit condescending voice explaining....again. Why do people think it's okay to torture the admin? You are going to need things. You are going to need me to provide things for you. You are going to need my help, mostly because you have a listening problem, and you are going to be subject to scheduling I'm in charge of creating. Foolish people. Vengeance is mine.
During all this running around, I was missing all the people coming through the open house. This is my favorite part. This is where people say the dumbest stuff and I eat it up like candy!!! But no, I was being the administrative bitch. By the time I got to the screening table, what was left was a woman with boobs so big they almost needed an engine-stand to hold them up. Oh and guess what, she needed to lean over the table to sign in. Oh and bonus, her top was low cut. Of course, it could have been a turtleneck shirt and still have shown cleavage, there was no harnessing this. I waited all day and that is what was left for me? I had to look away, it was too horrifying. She finally walked away, her flip flops making a very professional "slap, slap" noise as she walked. Who dresses these people?
Other honorable mentions of the day was the girl that was going to have to ask her current boss if it was okay if she worked our hours. I mean, let's not inconvenience the current boss when looking for a new job. Then there was the girl that "accidentally left something off her application." Hmmmm, could it be that you are a criminal? Spent some time in the pokey? We laughed about the fact that is probably what it was...but then became further amused when it turned out we were right. I know, it's easy to forget time you spent in jail.
Overall, it was disappointing. Maybe tomorrow I can participate in the screening and find some new blog fodder.
My favorite part of the day was when I went in to say goodnight to my other boss. I needed to talk to him about something work related, but while doing so, I pulled out my lipstick and applied some. He stopped me and said, "Why do you put that on?" I looked at him confused and said, "well, it adds a little color and moisturizes." He said, "there's no color, it's the same as your lips." I argued that no, in fact it was a mauve color and it was subtle. He grabbed the tube of lipstick from me and said, "This lipstick is the only thing about you that is subtle!" I said, "That's right, when I am chewing someone's ass, I get to it, but my make-up, I like that subtle..." It would seem my boss has picked up on my demeanor. Go figure.
I returned to my desk and Valerie and I informed my boss of how things were about to go down. We cancelled the morning meeting, then we were going to do this, this and this. Bossman looked at us and said, "I think I have given you too much power, I think it is time to take some back." Valerie and I looked at each other, paused, and then threw back our heads and laughed. Like the thought of taking power away was even an option. My boss is funny.
My day progressed, I blew up balloons, ran around taking care of business with my faithful side-kick, Valerie, and prepared for what was to be a busy open house. As luck would have it, there were not enough copies of the paperwork needed, so I ran around taking care of that, making sure everyone's needs were taken care of. From the 5th floor, to the 4th floor, to the 2nd floor, down to the 1st floor and back to the 5th. This was nuts. I wanted to kill people. Why do people think it's funny to poke the bear when I am involved in this process? One of the managers in particular, let's call him Jackass, decided to quiz me about the number of copies we had and why they weren't already assembled in the rooms we were using for interviews. Mind you, I had just explained the process and how we were handling things. Then, I no sooner threaten to choke the life from his body when one of the other key players, let's call her, Oblivious, asks me, "so is our paperwork in the rooms for us?" I snapped my head around, looked her in the eyes while my nostrils flared, for just a moment and I spoke to her in a slow, calm, albeit condescending voice explaining....again. Why do people think it's okay to torture the admin? You are going to need things. You are going to need me to provide things for you. You are going to need my help, mostly because you have a listening problem, and you are going to be subject to scheduling I'm in charge of creating. Foolish people. Vengeance is mine.
During all this running around, I was missing all the people coming through the open house. This is my favorite part. This is where people say the dumbest stuff and I eat it up like candy!!! But no, I was being the administrative bitch. By the time I got to the screening table, what was left was a woman with boobs so big they almost needed an engine-stand to hold them up. Oh and guess what, she needed to lean over the table to sign in. Oh and bonus, her top was low cut. Of course, it could have been a turtleneck shirt and still have shown cleavage, there was no harnessing this. I waited all day and that is what was left for me? I had to look away, it was too horrifying. She finally walked away, her flip flops making a very professional "slap, slap" noise as she walked. Who dresses these people?
Other honorable mentions of the day was the girl that was going to have to ask her current boss if it was okay if she worked our hours. I mean, let's not inconvenience the current boss when looking for a new job. Then there was the girl that "accidentally left something off her application." Hmmmm, could it be that you are a criminal? Spent some time in the pokey? We laughed about the fact that is probably what it was...but then became further amused when it turned out we were right. I know, it's easy to forget time you spent in jail.
Overall, it was disappointing. Maybe tomorrow I can participate in the screening and find some new blog fodder.
My favorite part of the day was when I went in to say goodnight to my other boss. I needed to talk to him about something work related, but while doing so, I pulled out my lipstick and applied some. He stopped me and said, "Why do you put that on?" I looked at him confused and said, "well, it adds a little color and moisturizes." He said, "there's no color, it's the same as your lips." I argued that no, in fact it was a mauve color and it was subtle. He grabbed the tube of lipstick from me and said, "This lipstick is the only thing about you that is subtle!" I said, "That's right, when I am chewing someone's ass, I get to it, but my make-up, I like that subtle..." It would seem my boss has picked up on my demeanor. Go figure.
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