What we can learn from hockey

Last night we had a work "team-build."  We went for pizza and then a hockey game.  Now, I've never been to a hockey game before, but I had heard they can be pretty rough, which people seem to like.  I think if I look at this as a true team-build, I need to learn something from it.  I also think, after experiencing the game, we have a lot to learn from hockey.

First of all, if someone pisses you off, you need to knock their hat off and start beating the crap out of them.  How is anyone going to learn if you don't let them know they have crossed the line.  I think we spend way too much time with the niceties in life, let's just be open and honest. If my boss comes up, grabs my shirt and roughly shakes me and says, "you stupid whore, you screwed up my expense report!" chances are, I am not going to make that mistake again.  Now, he doesn't have built up resentment, I learn a lesson and life goes on.  Adversely speaking, if my boss gives me too much work, I walk in his office, grab his chair, slide it into the wall and scream, "You piece of shit, just how much time do you think I have today?!"  He knows he has crossed the line and learns from it.  I feel better, got it off my chest and the work day goes on, stress free.

Secondly, at our staff meetings, if someone says something stupid or brings up a plan that we don't like, we grab them and smash their face into the wall and body slam them. We don't have to say anything, just make sure the person knows, that was stupid.  I just think there would be a lot less stress in the workplace if we just got it out of our systems. 

So, we've covered "unnecessary roughness," which I believe to be necessary, now let's talk about fighting.  I think this should be totally acceptable.  I mean, as long as the boss is standing there making sure we only beat on each other for a few minutes until things start getting out of hand, I think it's do-able.  I mean, really, the only thing I can see that is not allowed in hockey is tripping people.  You get the penalty box for that.  The ref's will stand there and watch the players rip helmets and gloves off and beat the crap out of each other, or body slam against the glass, but tripping, that just isn't good sportsmanship. 

Oh, and yelling and cowbell.  More yelling and yes, we need more cowbell.  Let's be more vocal, this isn't a library.

I think I am going to propose these changes at work.  The first person that comes up to my desk with a stupid question, a ridiculous request or asking something they should already know, that person is going to get body slammed against the file cabinets.  I think this will really help morale...at least mine.

So many people go through life with emotions bottled up.  I think what we can learn from hockey is that it is best to let these things out.

I think Will and I can apply this to our marriage too.  "What, you didn't clean the shower?" And then I bitch-slap him for a good 30 seconds.  And then, it's over.  I can't say this is the answer for everyone, but I think I'd like to try it and see if it sets the angry pony free.