People of Walmart...

Walmart.  I'm not a super fan of this store, but I guess it has it's purposes.  Today Will decided we needed to go there.  He needed to look for fishing stuff.  I said, "Well, what am I supposed to look for? You want to just go by yourself?"  As luck would have it, he wanted my companionship.  After all, this is our anniversary weekend, so we should celebrate by doing something exciting.  I decided I should probably dress appropriately if I was gonna go to Walmart.  I put on this halter top thing that went over one shoulder, but not the other, and some bedazzlement across the top part, some capri pants, some flip flops and some dangly earrings.  All set.

Upon arriving, I kept alert keeping an eye out for anyone shooting a picture of me to add to the People of Walmart website.  So far, so good.  I think I needed to add butt crack or cleavage to really make that happen, so I think I might be in the clear.  Anyway, Will headed off to the fishing aisles and I started looking through home decor and the like.  I could hear a child screaming in the distance and knew it was going to be one of those kinds of shopping experiences today.  I thought I would go check on Will to see how things were progressing.  I find him in the fishing aisle right next to the screaming child.  This child was over the top pissed off because he wanted a toy fishing pole.  His mother explained to him, at a volume equal to the screaming, that he already had a toy fishing pole at home.  The child didn't care, he wanted ANOTHER toy fishing pole.  I looked at Will, gave him "the look," dropped a couple things in the basket he had and took off.

A short while later, I was minding my own business in the magazine and book aisle when look who shows up, the screaming kid, oh and guess what...he is still PISSED OFF about that damn fishing pole.  They have the whole freaking store and they stop the screaming kid in the shopping cart right next to me.  I am instantly deciding whether I want to be rude and huffy, slam my magazine down and leave or just ride it out.  I mean, raising kids isn't easy, I should give the parents a break...right?  Yeah, well, my favorite part of this woman's parenting was when she screamed back at the still hysterical child and advised him that "you already have a toy fishing pole at home and you have only used it once so STOP YOUR DAMN CRYING!!!"  "But I want another one...." cried the child with big, ridiculous sobs.  The mother screams back, "Well you are not getting one, so shut your mouth."  Surprisingly enough, this tactic did not work.  The child continued to cry.  The mother seemed to have given up and moved on to other pressing matters as her and her husband had a very intense discussion about if either one of them had money in the bank and if his check had been deposited yet.  I didn't want to hear this.  I was not eavesdropping.  I was simply looking at a magazine about short haircuts and what is in and what is out (Jenny at the nail salon would be horrified) and the Manson family shows up on the scene.  I'd had enough, I shoved the magazine back into the rack and went to find Will. 

Luckily, Will was done with the fishing, but now he was in browsing mode.  This is a dangerous time.  It is especially dangerous because Walmart is notorious for having new stuff that you can't find in other places yet, or off the wall stuff, like specialty cereals that the grocery stores no longer carry.  Well, lucky us, today we go past this big 'ol Oreo cookie display and looky there, they have Creamcicle, Neapolitan and some sort of Berry Cream Oreos.  Well, Will's eyes lit up like a 7 year old getting his first Daisy Red Ryder BB gun. We came home with a package of Creamcicle and Neapolitan.  Just what the doctor ordered.  I managed to usher him past many of the other aisles.  We were able to successfully escape the store for about $50.

Just another day in the life...don't be jealous...