Poor Cindy....

The catalogs are starting to take over around here, so thought I would go through some and then throw them away.  Will can't be separated from all his Cabela's catalogs, so it is my job to slim down the ones under my control.  Never mind that many of his catalogs have the same stuff in them, just a different cover.  You throw in all his Rifleman, Nascar, fishing and hunting catalogs and we've got a situation.  However, we won't talk about that today.  He looks so peaceful looking through his catalogs, sipping his coffee and half watching some sort of truck show on how to max out the horsepower in your engine.  I don't want to poke the bear and make it crabby, so let's just leave this alone for now.

What I am more perplexed by, is some of the magazines I receive. This one in particular kind of irritates me. I've never ordered from them, but somehow, they got the memo I'm plus sized, so they are sending me their catalog. My first complaint is that they use skinny models to showcase their clothes.  My second complaint is that the clothes are kind of hideous.  This must be a harsh day for a model when you get the call to come to a photo shoot for ugly fat clothes. Tyra doesn't talk about that on America's Next Top Model.  I mean, how does a girl prepare for the inevitable,  "Hey, Cindy, I know things have been slow lately, but I think I finally have a gig for you...."  Cindy shows up on the scene and she is going to be sporting high waist jeans with elastic around the waist and big sewn in pockets that go half way down her legs. I can hear the photographer now, "Come on, Cindy, work it...show how playful the jeans are...." On top of the jeans, she is wearing a shirt that could double as a tent if she ever gets lost in the woods.  "Make it flow, Cindy...get ready for the wind machine...BAM! Money shot!"  Now it is time for lingerie.  Cindy changes into a lovely pajama set with cats all over it.  Fat  girls love cats, apparently, so there are several different sets with cats on them.  I don't know if I could chose just one, so lucky for me, they are having a sale on buy one, get a discount on the second one.

The hits keep coming for our model Cindy, because now it is time for bras.  Yes, it's true, Cindy is rocking a bra that has sexy straps that are probably 3 inches wide and are padded.  The lovely lace cone shaped cups are also a delightful look for her. Cindy continues to model all the "hottest" looks in plus size fashion.  She has rocked corduroy, she as shown whimsy in her floral mu-mu and shown athleticism in her fleece sweat pants. She has shown high fashion in her business casual wear with the elastic waist skirts and matching blazers that go down to her knees.  I can't wait to see Cindy's portfolio after this shoot.  She really showed that she has what it takes to make it to fashion week. My guess is, after this, Cindy becomes an actual plus size model because she goes home and eats Ho-Ho's and ice cream realizing her glory days are over.  I'm sorry, Cindy.

I guess it's safe to throw this catalog away.