A Warning about Probiotics....could be TMI

I was at Costco this weekend stocking up on random stuff.  I came across the vitamin section and stopped to look.  I mean, you never know what they will have that will change your life.  A lot of promises out there, more energy, losing weight, better eyesight, better skin, higher sex drive, and the list goes on.  I have been taking some vitamins, but thought maybe a multi-vitamin would be the way to go.  And, as if the Costco gods were shining upon me, there it was, the answer to all my needs.  It was a Triple Probiotic.  It claims to have all the vitamins, minerals and probiotics a person could need.  And, it is a "smart release triple layer" pill.  That's right, it knows what to release, and to where.  It's genius really.  Now, I don't really have major stomach problems, but what could be healthier than a probiotic? Even though I don't have a problem now, isn't taking care of your colon a good idea for the future?  Are you on board yet?  Let's be healthy!

I read the box and purchased this little miracle in pill form. Seems like a no-brainer, just take it once a day with a glass of water, preferably with food.  No side effects mentioned.  It's a vitamin, after all.  I took it Monday morning with my protein shake, life was good....for about an hour.  I started to feel kinda yucky.  Weird.  By lunch time, nothing really sounded good.  My stomach was making all sorts of gurgly noises and I thought, wow, what did I get into?  I don't mean to over share here, but I had a sense of urgency to get to the ladies room.  What transpired cannot and will not be discussed.  I was hoping this would pass.  I had a sandwich for lunch and still felt kinda yucky.  My boss came over to talk to me and I had to pretend I wasn't hearing all the noise from down under.  It sounded like a fat kid at Wild Waves coming down the turbo slide with a few of his best friends, like a freight train, like Jacques Cousteau on a deep sea adventure.  I just pretended it wasn't happening.  Pretending that I wasn't about to crap my pants. I didn't want to blame this on the probiotics, surely it was a coincidence.

Today, took my pill again and sat at my desk feeling yucky again.  My friend came up and started talking to me. I told her about the probiotics and wondered if that was it.  She started laughing and said, "oh yeah, my boyfriend took those and for two weeks, it was BAD."  I said, well, all I have had is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and this trail mix and I feel horrible.  She then informed me that nuts was the absolute wrong thing to be eating in this situation.  I didn't get the memo about nuts making you crap your pants.  No one ever told me.  I did, however, put them away.

I came home tonight and read the box again.  No where on this box does it say it's going to be a Disneyland water park in your intestines, no where does it say you will crap your pants at your desk if you eat nuts.  I'm actually pretty mad.  I just want healthy guts and that is what the box says I'll get.  I didn't realize I had to go through some sort of vitamin hazing ritual.  It just says if taken daily it helps maintain wellness and vitality.  Well, all I have to say is you better be well and vital enough to move and move fast.  Maybe the B12 helps your energy level while you run to the can.

I guess this is all TMI, but I say this to you as a friend, just go with some sort of Flinstone chewables. Fred and Wilma never caused this kind of grief.