Bat signal activated...

I was bossless today.  Both bosses gone. I had tons of work to do and thought this would be the perfect opportunity to get things done. I was wrong. Instead, it was the perfect storm for distraction. What usually happens when I am bossless, is that somehow some sort of bat signal goes out into the universe and everyone knows it is a free for all on my time.  Today was no exception.

I tried to start my day strong, but from the moment my day started, people were needy.  My screen was lit up like Christmas.  Everyone was instant messaging me everything from "Happy Friday" to "Do you have a copy of our compensation plan?"  "Do you know why so and so's access card doesn't work?"  "Can you check the list of T-shirt sizes for accuracy?"  "Don't let anyone in this office, my pants will be down while I fix my hem."  And so it went.  In the midst of the assault, I had random people bugging me that apparently didn't have 10 expense reports to do like I did.  Thank you, JR, for getting the song, "Runaway" stuck in my head..."and I ran....ran so far away....got to get away..."  Then add in my pal, "CAP" sending me a link of snotty cat blowing snot out of it's nose and then licking it back into it's mouth and you have a regular mardi gras of entertainment. Could I get some peace and quiet, please?

If that wasn't enough, my pal, let's call him "Lewis" to protect his identity, stopped by to revisit the toe discussion from the other day.  Anyone that follows my Facebook knows that the other day I was on one of those mind numbing conference calls that had me staring at my feet and then, next thing you know, I'm wondering about them.  About the length of toes, etc.  Turns out my second toe is just a little longer than my first toe.  Well, you throw something like this out there, it's going to cause some discussion.  At my work, you could discuss just what a flea farting really sounds like for hours without growing tired of it.  I mean, it is a think tank at my desk, ask anyone.  Anyway, Lewis shares with me, and the world of FB, that he is missing a joint in his toes, so they are all short.  Weird.  Well, Lewis stops by my desk today, takes off his shoe and shows me, Ambular and the intern his toes.  I've never seen anything like it.  They are, in fact, the shortest little toes I've ever seen.  They are cute...even if they are on a size 12 (or so) foot.  You put nail polish on there and it is possibly the cutest toes I've ever seen. I tell you this, though, if Lewis loses his fingers or arms, he is not going to be able to feed himself, play the piano or drive with those little toe nubbins.  He's screwed.  Let's all keep positive thoughts for Lewis.

Then, as if having nubby toes isn't enough, Lewis informs me his legs are hairless.  I guess he used to have hair, but now, not so much.  They are mostly smooth, maybe some really soft baby fine fuzz, but that's it.  So, let me get this straight, I'm a girl.  I shave my legs and within two days, if you rub up against me, I will cut you. It's like curling up with a cactus.  But this guy, this nubby toe, no leg hair guy, he gets to be soft and smooth as can be.  It just isn't fair. Lewis asked if I wanted  to see his legs.  I declined. 

After the toe viewing, I was trying to get back to work when, an angel, a call center angel, brought me a little cup of ice cream.  She had read my lunchtime post about needing ice cream, and then there she was, with ice cream. It was like Lewis' toes, it was a cute and small little cup. Probably what a "real" serving size is, if I was like, a skinny girl.  I ate it.  It made me smile. Thank you, Dawn.

So, yeah, about those expense reports.  Then some random guy comes to talk to me about coming over to our department and grilling me about what it is going to be like.  Poker face? Not me. I looked at him as if his prize cat just died and tried to pretend I wasn't driving the truck that just hit it.  If nothing else, I am honest.  After some time, he finally left my desk.  He wasn't walking as sparky as when he had originally arrived, but rather, he had the slump of acceptance.  I knew it was a job well done.  He was ready to transfer to my department.  I'd taken his hopes and dreams away.  I like to think of it as a public service.

Anyway, another successful day at the office.