The joy I felt when I paid off my truck earlier this month was indescribable. The only other vehicle I've ever paid off was the '78 Ford F-150 I bought from my Grandpa when I was going to college. Needless to say, I got the family discount, so it didn't take long. Ever since I started working at the glass palace, I have been through several brand new vehicles. A bit of a spoiled single girl thing. And then, finally, the error of my ways caught up with me. I learned my lesson and vowed to make this Dodge Dakota my last vehicle for a while. Luckily, it has very low mileage (38,000 and it is an '05) and should last me a long time. When I paid it off, I thought, now is when the trouble will start. And then, I shook that feeling and said to myself, nah, with such low miles, I will be good. That little truck has never caused me a lick of trouble. Why, it's barely broke in!
Tonight, I got in Little Blue (as I so affectionately call her) and headed home. I noticed something on the dash that was unusual. The little indicator that has a picture of the crash test dummy with a big circle in it's lap/face lit up. What the hell does this mean? I assume it's the airbag indicator. So, does that mean the airbag is in jeopardy of going off? Is it in jeopardy of not going off? I start to drive very carefully, like I am the boy in the bubble. I mean, I clearly cannot afford to get into an accident. I have no protection. But maybe the airbag is going to go off unexpectedly. I drive with my head leaning back into the headrest trying to create the most space I can between me and the steering wheel. I feel like I'm going to be punched in the face at any moment. Traffic is horrible and I worry something bad is going to happen. What if the indicator light is an omen? What if the universe is trying to tell me something? Now I'm even more paranoid. Crap, this is serious.
But what if the truck is saying I am fat? What if the little crash test dummy guy is just showing a big belly instead of an airbag? What if the truck has had enough of my fat ass in the driver seat? Little ungrateful bitch! I've put air in the tires, washed it, changed the oil, given it new windshield wipers...I've never wrecked it. I mean, there was that one time I spilled a Coke in there, but I thought we had moved past that.
Maybe the truck is giving me a sign that I'm pregnant? Maybe I should buy a test? Nah, since I had that LEEP procedure, there has been no baby-making activity, that can't be it. Unless it was divine intervention. That seems highly unlikely as well.
I guess it's the airbag. Stupid truck. I knew it was going to give me trouble as soon as I paid it off. Now, I just live in fear that I am going to be sucker punched at random or dust will fly out if I do get in a wreck, thus blinding me and causing me to inhale fumes that will probably render me blind, get into my lungs and then next thing you know, I'm in a wheelchair on oxygen and wishing I had been killed in the little fender-bender. I mean, I don't want to be negative, but I am trying to prepare myself. I wonder if I should buy a hockey mask to drive in. Maybe a mouth-piece. A girl has to look out for herself.
I guess I should have the dealer check it out. It's probably going to cost me a fortune. I mean, if it is going to cost very much...I might have to trade it in...
Tonight, I got in Little Blue (as I so affectionately call her) and headed home. I noticed something on the dash that was unusual. The little indicator that has a picture of the crash test dummy with a big circle in it's lap/face lit up. What the hell does this mean? I assume it's the airbag indicator. So, does that mean the airbag is in jeopardy of going off? Is it in jeopardy of not going off? I start to drive very carefully, like I am the boy in the bubble. I mean, I clearly cannot afford to get into an accident. I have no protection. But maybe the airbag is going to go off unexpectedly. I drive with my head leaning back into the headrest trying to create the most space I can between me and the steering wheel. I feel like I'm going to be punched in the face at any moment. Traffic is horrible and I worry something bad is going to happen. What if the indicator light is an omen? What if the universe is trying to tell me something? Now I'm even more paranoid. Crap, this is serious.
But what if the truck is saying I am fat? What if the little crash test dummy guy is just showing a big belly instead of an airbag? What if the truck has had enough of my fat ass in the driver seat? Little ungrateful bitch! I've put air in the tires, washed it, changed the oil, given it new windshield wipers...I've never wrecked it. I mean, there was that one time I spilled a Coke in there, but I thought we had moved past that.
Maybe the truck is giving me a sign that I'm pregnant? Maybe I should buy a test? Nah, since I had that LEEP procedure, there has been no baby-making activity, that can't be it. Unless it was divine intervention. That seems highly unlikely as well.
I guess it's the airbag. Stupid truck. I knew it was going to give me trouble as soon as I paid it off. Now, I just live in fear that I am going to be sucker punched at random or dust will fly out if I do get in a wreck, thus blinding me and causing me to inhale fumes that will probably render me blind, get into my lungs and then next thing you know, I'm in a wheelchair on oxygen and wishing I had been killed in the little fender-bender. I mean, I don't want to be negative, but I am trying to prepare myself. I wonder if I should buy a hockey mask to drive in. Maybe a mouth-piece. A girl has to look out for herself.
I guess I should have the dealer check it out. It's probably going to cost me a fortune. I mean, if it is going to cost very much...I might have to trade it in...
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