I'd like to talk about something I feel passionate about today: buttcracks. First of all, everyone has one. Doesn't matter if you are skinny or fat. The real issue is, why do I have to see them? I mean, I have one, but it is thoroughly clothed. I wear pants that fit and even if they do want to slide down a little, I will add a belt and even go so far as to wear a shirt that covers my muffin top, in it's entirety. Call me crazy, I just don't like to show my crack and I don't think anyone should be forced to look at it.
I know, if your skinny, it is all the rage to wear pants that are low riders and then wear a cute little spagetti strap top and a cute little hoodie that rides right around your belly button. I mean, you don't have a muffin top, so you qualify to show some skin, right? WRONG. While I appreciate you are wearing a delightful butterfly thong (aka butt floss) that I can see the top of, it still is not ok.
Now, I'd like to talk to all the other girls that do not fit into Buttcrack Barbie territory. Do you own a mirror? Do you have no sensitivity to air or drafts? Are you unaware I can see your buttcrack? Have you given up? Are you trying to seduce someone? Seriously, pull your pants up and your shirt down.
Sitting by a window can be a blessing and a curse. Almost daily I see someone get out of a car and bend over to get her stuff, and every day I see her buttcrack.We'll call her Babygotback Buttcrack. Is she unable to harness it? Unable to contain it? Doesn't it get cold? Why do I have to see it? Then, it can also be spotted sitting in any number of chairs throughout the building. That's not sanitary. I could be sitting in a chair that has buttcrack cheese on it. It's gross and someone needs to stop it.
I think someone needs to start a movement. Let's call it the B.C.A. - Butt Cleavage Alliance. When you join, you get your starter kit which includes: a tub of spackle to cover buttcracks up, a squirt gun to shoot them in the buttcrack and a complimentary brochure featuring the people of Walmart to be issued upon completion of spackling or squirting. It's going to take some time, but I believe, if we band together, we can stop buttcracks from corrupting the vision of my fellow Americans. And why stop in America, let's go global! And just when you think you can't make a difference, YOU can! I know when people want to raise money for starving animals or people in poor countries they bombard us with media on TV showing us the horror of neglect. I think a public service announcement about buttcracks is in order. For only .10 a day you can stop the suffering...don't wait, act now!
I know, if your skinny, it is all the rage to wear pants that are low riders and then wear a cute little spagetti strap top and a cute little hoodie that rides right around your belly button. I mean, you don't have a muffin top, so you qualify to show some skin, right? WRONG. While I appreciate you are wearing a delightful butterfly thong (aka butt floss) that I can see the top of, it still is not ok.
Now, I'd like to talk to all the other girls that do not fit into Buttcrack Barbie territory. Do you own a mirror? Do you have no sensitivity to air or drafts? Are you unaware I can see your buttcrack? Have you given up? Are you trying to seduce someone? Seriously, pull your pants up and your shirt down.
Sitting by a window can be a blessing and a curse. Almost daily I see someone get out of a car and bend over to get her stuff, and every day I see her buttcrack.We'll call her Babygotback Buttcrack. Is she unable to harness it? Unable to contain it? Doesn't it get cold? Why do I have to see it? Then, it can also be spotted sitting in any number of chairs throughout the building. That's not sanitary. I could be sitting in a chair that has buttcrack cheese on it. It's gross and someone needs to stop it.
I think someone needs to start a movement. Let's call it the B.C.A. - Butt Cleavage Alliance. When you join, you get your starter kit which includes: a tub of spackle to cover buttcracks up, a squirt gun to shoot them in the buttcrack and a complimentary brochure featuring the people of Walmart to be issued upon completion of spackling or squirting. It's going to take some time, but I believe, if we band together, we can stop buttcracks from corrupting the vision of my fellow Americans. And why stop in America, let's go global! And just when you think you can't make a difference, YOU can! I know when people want to raise money for starving animals or people in poor countries they bombard us with media on TV showing us the horror of neglect. I think a public service announcement about buttcracks is in order. For only .10 a day you can stop the suffering...don't wait, act now!
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