When Snowflakes make people attack...

Today a lot of people irritated me.  No, let me just come out and say it, they pissed me off.  For example, I'm at my desk, eating my lunch, with my pal, Val.  Now, my bad for eating at my desk, but, I was taking a quick lunch, so figured I could get away with it.  I'm sitting there, eating, and this guy comes up and says, "hi."  I look at him in utter annoyance and say, "is there something I can help you with?"  He says, "well, I can see you are eating, so I guess I won't bother you."  I looked at him and said, "good plan."  I thought this would take care of the little problem...and by little problem, I mean him.  Nope, he just stands there with this stupid look on his face and stares at me.  I stare back.  I blink.  I take another bite of my burger.  He is unaffected by the mental telepathy I am sending to him that says, "drop dead."  Now, I ask you, why would anyone interfere with a fat girl eating her lunch?  Why? If you add the word "bitchy" to the sentence, it makes it even more unfathomable.  Finally, I say, with irritation and exasperation, "is it just a quick question?"  He then asked me a series of dumb questions, to which, he already had the answers to.  Because of this, I felt the need to be semi-snotty, yet still PC, in my responses.  It was the equivalent to walking up to someone and saying, "I see your shirt is blue, can you confirm that?"  I don't have time for this kind of stupidity.  Finally, he left.

Now, I'd like to turn my attention to the afternoon festivities.  Someone at work, who shall remain nameless, has decided we need to make these paper snowflakes for everyone in the center...about 250 of them.  We did this last year and it did look really cool, but a few folks worked on them after hours and in between projects.  This year, it has been decided, that we need to make them before Thanksgiving, which is the day after tomorrow.  Now, these snowflakes take about 5-10 minutes or more, per snowflake, to make.  It's time consuming.  No worries, we'll do them at the staff meeting today.  I"m sure the managers won't mind making them, right?

Let me just tell you how a room full of adults can make a class of grade-schoolers look skilled....and mature.  Give the adults paper, scissors, staplers and tape.  Show them how to make the snowflakes and then wait for it....wait for it....THERE IT IS...the whining has begun.  "I don't know how to do this."  "Why are we doing this?" "Oh sure, we are on a budget and can't order supplies, but we can make paper snowflakes."  "I can't figure this out."  "This stapler doesn't work."  "These scissors are hurting my hand." "I don't have any tape, how come there isn't enough tape for everyone?"  In the meantime, over all the paper wrestling, rustling, and whining, a staff meeting is being attempted.  The only saving grace was that I had an appointment and needed to leave.  I grabbed my stapler, because, no one was going to steal my stapler, and left.  I wanted to slap half of them tell some of the others to go sniff some glue. 

I wait and wait for the elevator to come.  There are two, but only one works.  The building guy insists the other one works, but no one has seen it open for months, so we have to wait forever for the one that does. The building guy can also go sniff some glue for all I care.  I get out of the elevator, where I am  greeted by employees with Nerf guns sitting on hay bales (which I brought in from home) shooting at turkeys that my "sales coordinator" assistant spent over half a day making.  Yes, I do work in a corporate environment.


I just have to say, it's good that my appointment was to see a therapist because, I really needed to talk to someone that wasn't wasting my time, whining or trying to shoot me with Nerf bullets. But wait, more good news, tomorrow....tomorrow, I will be making snowflakes all day.  Sing it with me, "99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down, pass it around...98 bottles of beer on the wall....

Where is my intern when I need her?