My magical ride to work...

It's a Monday. Not happy about it, but gotta do what I gotta do.  I got ready for work and headed out to my truck.  I decided to check out my old collection of CD's to see if I had anything worth listening to.  I pulled out Enya.  I haven't listened to that in forever. Why not?  Maybe some relaxing music is just what I need.

As I'm driving along, I feel myself visibly relax.  This is good stuff. In my head, everything is going in slow motion. I'm in an open field, riding my unicorn effortlessly through a field of daisies and wild flowers.  I'm barefoot. My long, blonde, softly curled hair is flowing down my back and I have a circle of daisies on my head.  My boobs look amazing, my waist is small, I am a goddess (hey, shut up, if I can ride a unicorn, I can damn well be a goddess).  My unicorn, Enya, and I make our way through a beautiful countryside.  I stop and pick gum drops off the gum drop tree.  Then the Care Bears come out and hand me a fat-free, sugar-free cupcake that tastes like heaven.  A slight breeze is playing in my hair and the warm sun is on my face.  It's magical.

It's then I spy some asshat riding up on my tailgate and then darting around me.  I am unaffected.  That poor soul must be late for work and I am sure they don't mean to be an asshat.  I go back to my adventure with Enya.  Just then, I smell the turd laundry, but in my magical place, it smells like roses and once again, all is right with the world.  I take a big whiff.  Mmmmmmm, flowers. 

I'm nearing "the glass palace" now and find myself slowing down.  What's the rush?  Afterall, Enya doesn't go 65mph.  I pull in the parking lot and the breeze kicks up and Enya snorts and stamps his foot.  Fear in his eyes.  There is a darkness that is falling upon us.  I turn the truck off, my soothing CD stops.  I walk into the glass palace and go to my desk.  I open my email.  Just then, my paradise collapses.  Thunder claps, rain starts, Enya rears up in fear as the "unicorn poop" in my email oozes out.  Then suddenly there is a landslide and Enya and I fall down the hillside into the river.  When I reach the bottom, Enya's leg is broken, my dress is torn, my pot belly is sticking out, my boobs went flat, my hair has sticks in it and what I believe to be a pissed off squirrel.  Now, I am going to have to shoot my unicorn to put it out of it's misery and, in all probability, will get rabies from that damn squirrel fighting for it's life in my hair.

I stand up to go get water and my knee screams out in pain  Stupid rainstorm. Stupid hill. Stupid unicorn. I over-estimated the power of the Enya CD.  Tomorrow I'd better try AC/DC.  I think a little Back in Black might be more suitable to prepare me for my work day...or maybe Hells Bells.