Heat Leaches

Sometimes when Will leaves for work on Saturdays he likes to put the dogs in bed with me.  Spanky, of course, is already there because he has the ability to get up on the bed himself, but the other two clowns need assistance.  Since it was 27 degrees this morning, Will decided it was a good opportunity for the dogs to "snuggle" with me. 

Usually, I sleep on my side, so Spanky attaches himself to my belly and Chip and Lilly attach themselves to either side of my legs.  This is great, we are one organism.  I,  being the pre-warmed heat provider, and the little wiener dogs being the heat sucking leaches. This little co-existence is fine until the leaches reach full heat.  Then they begin to cook me like bacon on a hot skillet. I try to roll over, but I can't, I have dead weight surrounding me and they are unaffected by my needs.  I finally manage to roll to my back and do a scissor maneuver with my legs to get the leaches off of me.  I begin to relax and cool down just a smidge, when I realize it is time to rotate back over on my side.  I go to do so, but the leaches have moved back in and are once again affixed to my body.  I roll over, the dogs reposition.  Now, I still have Spanky at my belly and one of the others has decided to take up residency just under my ass.  I pause to wonder if I passed some sort of really bad gas, if it would run the dogs out from under the covers like it runs me out of the room when they do it.  Sadly, my stomach isn't in any sort of distress, so I have no ammo in the chamber.

And so the cycle goes on until the baby leach, Spanky, decides it's time to get up, at which point, he pops out of the covers, walks to the end of the bed, climbs on my feet and walks his way up my body until he is laying on my chest just nano fractions from my face.  He is staring at me and wagging his tail.  I hear the "thump, thump, thump" of his happy tail on my belly.  Then Chip climbs out and sits next to my shoulder and stares at me like he is trying to hypnotize me with his bulgy eye stare.  He is also shaking for affect.  Exactly how does one sleep through the little leaches when they do this?  Lilly is no where to be found because she is at the bottom of the bed under the covers hoping to not be detected.  She would sleep in that bed all day if allowed.

And so, it's time to get up.  Sleeping in too long on the weekends is over-rated anyway, I guess. I wouldn't know, for sure, thanks to the leaches.