Kiosk Mall Dude

Yesterday, I had my post-op appointment with my doctor.  On the way, I decided I should pay my phone/internet/TV bill which are all bundled into one package.  I would hate to lose my only source of entertainment. I mean, if I can't get a marathon of some sort of skinny girl turmoil, what purpose do my days have? 

My provider of said services used to have a store in our mall.  I went in there and found it no longer there.  What the heck?  I found a little kiosk in the mall with my company's name on it.  Apparently, the dude was representing the "Wireless" segment of the company, even though the kiosk says it can help with my phone, internet and TV as well.  I ask this kid, "So, is the Glass Palace store no longer here in the mall?"  He looks at me like I have two heads.  He advises me that the store is no longer here in the mall, but that he can help me.  All he needs to do is look up my account.  I advised him that I work for the company and so I am all set up, I just need to pay my bill.  He then says to me, "If you work for the company, why don't you know where to pay your bill? You would think you would know that?"  What? Did he really just say that to me?  How does he know I'm not the Vice President to the Executive Dude in Charge of Everything?  I advised him that I usually pay my bill on-line but that the system didn't seem to be working today.  He then proceeds to tell me how much my company sucks and that Comcast is so much better and that we just have nothing but problems on-line.  Now, I'm not going to lie, I whole-heartedly agree, but I don't go around telling people I don't know that.  I asked him if he knew where the Glass Palace store is now.  He does provide me the address.  Then he says, "Yeah, I've been thinking about transferring over to the main office."  Well, that just happens to be my area.  I told him a little about the job.  He is wanting to make $1000 a week in commission.  I burst his little bubble about that.  I told him he would have to apply for a position when it becomes available and has to get certified, etc. if he wanted to come over.  He's like, "I'm already certified."  I looked at this kid that had just totally talked trash about the company that signs his check and said, "You are not certified to talk to our customers on the phone."  I said, "Look, I'm the admin, so I can't tell you whether it would be better than what you do now or not."  He looks puzzled, "What's an admin? You lost me...."  I said, "You know, the administrative assistant for the center..."  He shakes his head, "Nope, I still have no idea...."  I sat there, kind of stunned. I thought of something he might be able to identify with.  I thought of many descriptive terms, but decided to be professional about it.  I said, "You know, a secretary?"  He just shook his head and gave up.  This is the face of my company at the mall.  I feel good about our future.  Yep. I do.

I'm about ready to leave and he says, "yeah, that girl at the front desk, she's nice."  I said, "yes, Palace Enforcer, she is nice."  He says, "yeah, I was always promising to bring her coffee, but I never did."  What do you say to that?  I was like, okay then, gotta go pay my bill now....

I did manage to find the Glass Palace store and pay my bill.  At least now, I am guaranteed intelligent interaction on TV. Thank goodness.

The next stop was the doctor's office.  By now, I was super hungry, I hadn't eaten since some cereal this morning and it was now 3:30pm.  Right around the corner from my doctor's office is Dick's burgers.  I love Dick's burgers.  This is not exactly what you want to eat on your way to see your bariatric surgeon, but we were in a pinch and I was hungry. I thought about it some more and decided this was a bad idea.  I told Will to nevermind, but while I was on my cell phone trying to calm one of my friends down that just had a run in with the IRS, he pulled in to Dick's and ordered me a burger.  I ate it.  It was delightful.  Then, I panicked. My appointment was 15 minutes away.  I said to Will, "I can't go into my doctor's office with Dick on my breath! I need gum!"  Two pieces of minty gum later, and I was on the way to the doctor.  I wonder how heavy that cheeseburger was?  The first thing they are going to do is weigh me.  Crap. 

I got weighed and got through the appointment without incident.  I really don't know why I had to drive all the way down there for the doctor to look at my incisions and say, "looks good" and then ask me how I feel.  We could have covered this over the phone.  Oh, well.  I guess, if I hadn't left the house, I would never have met Dude at the mall and gotten a Dick's burger.  Considering my last week of pajamas and couch habitation, I think this was a very exciting day. 

Now, if you will excuse me, I need to recover from it.  Kitchen Nightmares is on.  Oh, and I need to get Will on those Christmas lights.  They don't hang themselves!