What the heck is going on around here?

There are a number of things that really make me wonder, "what the hell are people thinking?"  Not like today was more incredulous than any other day, but still.  Here are a few things that made me wonder today.

First of all, I work with people that are capable of using multiple phone systems, ordering systems, billing systems, etc.  Some of them are pretty smart, some, well, it takes a little longer for things to settle in.  Overall, we ask a lot of these people, so you would think, when you give them a task as easy as ordering a new badge, they would be able to handle this.  Wrong.  Even after I sent out instructions on how to do this, which, quite frankly, is going to a website and filling out a form, a form that has their personal information, there were still problems.  And don't get me started on the pictures.  No, it is not ok to use a picture of you at your wedding 15 years ago when you were wearing a tiara and looked young and happy.  You either provide a reasonable picture or march your miserable ass over to that wall and get a mug shot taken like everyone else.  And don't ask me to remove your extra chin or make you beautiful.  This is telecom, not Glamour Shots.  Oh and the coy look you have while you angle your face to the side, no, not going to fly.  If half your head is missing from the picture, it is also not appropriate.  These people exhaust me.  So much so, I had to give the job to my pal "Stiletto Barbie."  It's her problem now.

I walked into the bathroom today and you all know how I feel about our bathroom situation, but it never stops disappointing me with it's dire state of being.  Now, our bathrooms have a main door and then right after that there is another door, which is usually propped open with a door wedge thing.  Someone keeps stealing the door wedge thingy.  What the hell?  Why do people do this?  What is so alluring about that little stupid door wedge that would cause someone to get all stealthy and steal it when no one is looking?  Why?  Do they have a lot of problem doors in their home that they need to prop open?  Are they using them to start fires in the wood stove?  Is someone crafting some sort of bathroom masterpiece?  Maybe this is the same person that keeps breaking into the tampon dispenser.  I bet they have one hell of a masterpiece at home.  And another thing, if a bathroom is out of toilet paper, try putting more toilet paper in there instead of putting a sign that says, "out of toilet paper."  The amount of effort is the same.  Seriously, people.  And the one sink in there that doesn't work, maybe we could fix it instead of putting a napkin over the sink.  Are we treating this like a dead person at a crash site?  Are we covering it so no one has to see it?  Dead sinks are horrifying.

And as long as we are talking about things that mystify me, why in the hell did someone steal some lady's coat hanger at work?  She was quite distressed about it, she sent an email to the entire office.  Do you think the same lady that is stealing the door stopper, possibly the toilet paper too, is also stealing random items in the office?  I mean, this is big.  Clearly an epidemic is about to unfold.  I better not leave anything important to me out.  Crap, what if this vile human being steals my ponies at my desk, or, possibly my pink pen. Shit.  I'm going to need a safe.  I'll just have to get one and expense it.  Each night I will lock my ponies, my pink pen and an ample supply of toilet paper away safely.

And finally, something happened today that made me realize I need to ramp up my non-verbal communication for people that don't know me.  I was returning from an appointment, I hadn't eaten my lunch yet, which quite frankly was rabbit food, but nonetheless, I needed it badly.  And this guy, I'm calling him Sean Penn (Lizard Lick and Weird Toe Guy helped me name him), approaches me as I am walking to my desk. I am putting out all my signals that say, subliminally, "The Queen is not available to see you now." Sean Penn thinks this doesn't apply to him.  He continues on and follows me back to my desk.  I told him I was not prepared for him to be in my environment.  He was unaffected.  I was so hungry, I was ready to eat a human being, so I got my salad out and started to eat it. One of my bosses came up and saw me eating it and said that seeing me eat salad depressed him.  I don't know if it depressed him to see someone eat salad because he doesn't like salad or because it was sad to see a fat girl down on her luck eating something that she was pretending was a cheese burger.  Either way, I continued to eat it, but Sean Penn was undeterred.  When he finally did leave, I thought, "what could I have done differently?  I've clearly lost my touch." 

All of these events made me say, "what the hell is going on?"  I hope tomorrow brings more answers, less questions and that Stella gets her groove back.