I think my good dog, Spanky, is gay. And if he is, that is okay. I mean, I love the little guy, so his orientation is irrelevant to me. I know I am the one that took him to the vet to get his "buddies" cut off, so I guess some of the responsibility is mine.
Today, Spanky was kind of out of hand. When we take him places in the truck, we usually have to make sure my lip gloss is secured in the glove box. He always noses around in the front console to see what he can find, and what he is truly looking for is my sparkly, flavored lip gloss. Today, my favorite Lip Smakers Cherry Blossum lip gloss fell victim to Spanky's desires. It was my favorite. At least Spanky had sparkly, kissable lips, and for once, decent breath.
Tonight, I am doing laundry, so I bring my clothes downstairs and separate them in piles in the bathroom. I went back in the front room to watch a little TV while one load ran. I came back in later and my clothes were all over the place. I knew underwear would be missing. I look in the kennel and there are my multi-colored polka dot undies. He loves those and my rainbow ones. They are his favorite. He also had one of my brightly colored striped socks in there. This really ticks me off. I am tired of that dog stealing my underwear whenever an opportunity presents itself. It's creepy, really. He covets them, loves them, protects them. Ew.
Spanky also screams like a girl when it is time to go outside. Like, he is so excited, he can't stand himself. He dances and screams like he is a 12 year old girl at a Justin Beiber concert. And speaking of singing, the dog really does love to sing. He hits those high notes that can break glasses.
The more I think about it, Spanky doesn't really mind being dressed in doggie clothes either. I mean, he isn't super fond of the Doggles we got him, but he will wear them to pose for pictures and stuff. Long term, he can't be bothered. He has a certain "pop sensibility" that teenage girls strive for.
And, finally, Spanky loves to sit on top of the other wiener dogs or on Will's lap. The fact that he is drawn to that sort of environment is really the last proof I need. I want to be supportive of my dog, no matter what, but I have to draw the line on my underwear. I'll even get him his own lip gloss, but he needs to keep away from my rainbow underwear. Does anyone know where I can get some cute doggie underwear? Please advise if you do.
Today, Spanky was kind of out of hand. When we take him places in the truck, we usually have to make sure my lip gloss is secured in the glove box. He always noses around in the front console to see what he can find, and what he is truly looking for is my sparkly, flavored lip gloss. Today, my favorite Lip Smakers Cherry Blossum lip gloss fell victim to Spanky's desires. It was my favorite. At least Spanky had sparkly, kissable lips, and for once, decent breath.
Tonight, I am doing laundry, so I bring my clothes downstairs and separate them in piles in the bathroom. I went back in the front room to watch a little TV while one load ran. I came back in later and my clothes were all over the place. I knew underwear would be missing. I look in the kennel and there are my multi-colored polka dot undies. He loves those and my rainbow ones. They are his favorite. He also had one of my brightly colored striped socks in there. This really ticks me off. I am tired of that dog stealing my underwear whenever an opportunity presents itself. It's creepy, really. He covets them, loves them, protects them. Ew.
Spanky also screams like a girl when it is time to go outside. Like, he is so excited, he can't stand himself. He dances and screams like he is a 12 year old girl at a Justin Beiber concert. And speaking of singing, the dog really does love to sing. He hits those high notes that can break glasses.
The more I think about it, Spanky doesn't really mind being dressed in doggie clothes either. I mean, he isn't super fond of the Doggles we got him, but he will wear them to pose for pictures and stuff. Long term, he can't be bothered. He has a certain "pop sensibility" that teenage girls strive for.
And, finally, Spanky loves to sit on top of the other wiener dogs or on Will's lap. The fact that he is drawn to that sort of environment is really the last proof I need. I want to be supportive of my dog, no matter what, but I have to draw the line on my underwear. I'll even get him his own lip gloss, but he needs to keep away from my rainbow underwear. Does anyone know where I can get some cute doggie underwear? Please advise if you do.
Petsmart or Kiddies dept
ReplyDeleteMy brother has some squirrel underpants - a thoughtful gift from our mother to him. Not man sized briefs with a picture of a squirrel, mind you. No - these are small briefs that fit on a cardboard cutout of a squirrel. I'll check to see if he's found a pet squirrel yet, they may just fit Spanky, although they are kinda boyish and have no design that I can recall.
ReplyDelete