I have a new "team-mate" that has moved into my general area. He sits by Valerie. I like him. He is a good sparring partner. Maybe too good. I can't decide on his blog name, but for today's purposes, his name is File Bitch. Let's call him FB for short. Now, I pretty much have Valerie trained to ignore my rantings, rages and lapses of intelligence. The same cannot be said of FB. He's whippy and apparently has some sort of sonic bat ear hearing. The reason I call him FB is because he had the audacity to "critique" my filing system, or lack thereof. He blatantly mocked me and inferred that I don't know how to run my business. Just because I temporarily lost something doesn't mean I don't know how to file, it just means that item has not been prepared for the process of being filed. Or maybe that item doesn't need to be filed, it just needs to be a "free agent" ready for reference when I need it. That is where the random piles come into play. FB has called me a "File Invalid." Them are fightin' words. I know where everything is (most of the time), so I think what I have going on is fine. When he becomes the high priestess admin, then and only then, can he judge. I think I am getting used to him though because today, I was having an issue, and vocalizing about it and just as he started to speak, I said, "Shut up, FB." Even across the wall I sensed a disturbance in the force. My Jedi smart-ass sensing skills are keen. I think this will work out just fine with FB and I.
In other news today, in Valerie and FB's area, which is close to mine, they had a big ol potluck. Now, I'm trying to behave myself. I'm foraging on salad and lean proteins and the little group of infidels is eating chips, dip, pie, cake, cupcakes, cookies and several other items to be referred to as "food of the devil" henceforth. And apparently the cake they ordered was a reject, so they had to get a second one. I guess when you look on a website of the local grocery store and see a beautiful shamrock shaped cake made of cupcakes, it is a bad idea to order one, because what you receive is a hideous cake that doesn't look like a shamrock. One side of it kind of looked like a penis. I don't know how you really get from shamrock to penis, but apparently these decorators are either just that bad, or just that talented. In the stores defense, I don't know if I could have made a shamrock out of 21 cupcakes personally. Anyway, there were cupcakes everywhere piled high with yummy smelling frosting. I just kept reminding myself that the frosting was just a bunch of lard and that it would probably taste yucky anyway and that seemed to do the trick.
The closest call I had today to heading down the path of fat girl sin was due to Slurpee Guy. Slurpee Guy decided that today we needed to do a contest that allowed everyone to earn a shamrock shake from McDonalds when they met their goal. I just looked at him and said, "I'm not doing that." I'm not going to be anyone's shamrock bitch. Shamrock shakes are pretty tasty and ice cream, in my book, is it's own food group. A food group that is certainly of the devil. Since one of the supervisors had to go get the shakes, she was at my desk tallying the orders. She was concerned she was going to miss someone as not everyone had placed their order. She seemed in distress. I said to her, let me show you how we do this. I grabbed one of our 2-way radios, which all of the supervisors are to carry, and said in my best bitchy flight attendant voice, "Attention all supervisors, the Shamrock Shake ship is sailing in exactly 5 minutes, if you have an order, please answer this call or get to my desk immediately. If you do not, you can get your own." Instantly orders came in. The supervisor looked at me and said, "wow." I smiled and said, "and that is how you handle that. You gotta know how to handle these people." I know FB can't make make supervisors jump like I can. hmpf.
One more thing I'd like to bitch about before I go is typing tests. If I could broadcast this from the highest mountain, or like, from Twitter, I would say, "Stop making excuses!!! I know this is not your normal keyboard, I know you are nervous, I know you normally type faster. And furthermore, I don't care if you have a headache, hang-over, hang-nail, a case of the shits or whatever your malady is. I don't care!!! Also, if you could shower instead of using cologne or perfume to mask your normal stench, I would greatly appreciate it!!!" Tell your neighbors, tell your friends, hell, tell strangers. These people wear me out.
Ok, now I'm done. The End.
In other news today, in Valerie and FB's area, which is close to mine, they had a big ol potluck. Now, I'm trying to behave myself. I'm foraging on salad and lean proteins and the little group of infidels is eating chips, dip, pie, cake, cupcakes, cookies and several other items to be referred to as "food of the devil" henceforth. And apparently the cake they ordered was a reject, so they had to get a second one. I guess when you look on a website of the local grocery store and see a beautiful shamrock shaped cake made of cupcakes, it is a bad idea to order one, because what you receive is a hideous cake that doesn't look like a shamrock. One side of it kind of looked like a penis. I don't know how you really get from shamrock to penis, but apparently these decorators are either just that bad, or just that talented. In the stores defense, I don't know if I could have made a shamrock out of 21 cupcakes personally. Anyway, there were cupcakes everywhere piled high with yummy smelling frosting. I just kept reminding myself that the frosting was just a bunch of lard and that it would probably taste yucky anyway and that seemed to do the trick.
The closest call I had today to heading down the path of fat girl sin was due to Slurpee Guy. Slurpee Guy decided that today we needed to do a contest that allowed everyone to earn a shamrock shake from McDonalds when they met their goal. I just looked at him and said, "I'm not doing that." I'm not going to be anyone's shamrock bitch. Shamrock shakes are pretty tasty and ice cream, in my book, is it's own food group. A food group that is certainly of the devil. Since one of the supervisors had to go get the shakes, she was at my desk tallying the orders. She was concerned she was going to miss someone as not everyone had placed their order. She seemed in distress. I said to her, let me show you how we do this. I grabbed one of our 2-way radios, which all of the supervisors are to carry, and said in my best bitchy flight attendant voice, "Attention all supervisors, the Shamrock Shake ship is sailing in exactly 5 minutes, if you have an order, please answer this call or get to my desk immediately. If you do not, you can get your own." Instantly orders came in. The supervisor looked at me and said, "wow." I smiled and said, "and that is how you handle that. You gotta know how to handle these people." I know FB can't make make supervisors jump like I can. hmpf.
One more thing I'd like to bitch about before I go is typing tests. If I could broadcast this from the highest mountain, or like, from Twitter, I would say, "Stop making excuses!!! I know this is not your normal keyboard, I know you are nervous, I know you normally type faster. And furthermore, I don't care if you have a headache, hang-over, hang-nail, a case of the shits or whatever your malady is. I don't care!!! Also, if you could shower instead of using cologne or perfume to mask your normal stench, I would greatly appreciate it!!!" Tell your neighbors, tell your friends, hell, tell strangers. These people wear me out.
Ok, now I'm done. The End.
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