Two things have made me consider ending my blog today. I was sitting there killing time after work today, so I pulled up my blog to see how many hits I've had lately. It's always fun to see what countries have run across it. Of course, I never know if they just ran across it accidentally or if I have actually seduced some foreign folks with my charming angry pony demeanor. I mean, really, it is hard to resist, I'm sure. Anyway, as I am looking at my stats, I can look and see what key words people are using to either find my blog, or what they searched that lead them to my blog. I saw the normal combinations, "angry pony," "Cassondra angry pony," etc. I saw two phrases, however, that kind of disturbed me. One was "his potty time undies." Ok, stop right there. I have never written about potty time undies...however, I guess I have talked about the bathroom at work a lot and that nasty person that left panties in there. I mean, the people at work could use some potty training, maybe that is where those key search words kicked in. The second one I saw that was disturbing was "Cassondra White spanking." Whoa. I haven't spanked anyone. That just sounds dirty. Maybe they meant my good dog Spanky, but I don't want to be naive. I think there could be some wild Cassondra's out there. To my followers, rest assured, you will never see me featuring a picture of myself in a black leather outfit with a riding crop spanking Will. It just isn't going to happen. On this, you have my word.
It all makes me wonder about having this blog. Maybe it's out of hand. Maybe crazy people are reading it. I mean, crazy people kind of are "my people," but still. And then things happen at work and I want to blog about them so bad, but I know I can't. Maybe I should throw the towel in and avoid temptation. Maybe this is the end. And then...something magical happens and I think, I can't stop. For example, I was minding my own business tonight while I was checking my blog stats and one of the people at work said something to me that I can never un-hear. I was teasing him about being a man and making some comment about how something couldn't be helped because he was a boy and he says to me, "Hey! I'm not even a whole man, I'm half woman, I have boobs!" I can't leave that alone. I can't not share that. I can't not make up a million different names for him. For example, these are the first ones that came to mind, Moobs (you know, Man + Boobs = Moobs), Mooby Dick, and then a whole variety of names that rhymed with his real name. It has never been so easy to give someone a blog name. I laughed at his joke and then I just stared at him in disbelief. I couldn't believe he left himself that wide open. But, again, now I'm worried I won't be able to contain myself. I'm going to have to bite my lip at work to not make boob jokes. I can just see it now, at a staff meeting I will say, "So Mooby Dick, what do you think?" or "Oh yeah, why don't you go over there and cry in your spilled milk...you know, the milk from your man boobs...." or if we are in the elevator, just as the doors start to close, I can jerk him backwards and say, "be careful, you'll get your boobs caught in the door!" I can't keep this kind of thing in. I can't be trusted. This is where the blog allows an outlet to get it out of my system. Or, does it just make the problem worse?
I don't know the answers, but Mooby Dick, here's to you...and you're man boobs. And now I've mentioned the words, "boob," "panties" "spanking" and "dick" in my blog. What kind of crazies will find my blog tonight?! Some days, it's a crap shoot. Great, now I just said "crap shoot." I have to stop.
It all makes me wonder about having this blog. Maybe it's out of hand. Maybe crazy people are reading it. I mean, crazy people kind of are "my people," but still. And then things happen at work and I want to blog about them so bad, but I know I can't. Maybe I should throw the towel in and avoid temptation. Maybe this is the end. And then...something magical happens and I think, I can't stop. For example, I was minding my own business tonight while I was checking my blog stats and one of the people at work said something to me that I can never un-hear. I was teasing him about being a man and making some comment about how something couldn't be helped because he was a boy and he says to me, "Hey! I'm not even a whole man, I'm half woman, I have boobs!" I can't leave that alone. I can't not share that. I can't not make up a million different names for him. For example, these are the first ones that came to mind, Moobs (you know, Man + Boobs = Moobs), Mooby Dick, and then a whole variety of names that rhymed with his real name. It has never been so easy to give someone a blog name. I laughed at his joke and then I just stared at him in disbelief. I couldn't believe he left himself that wide open. But, again, now I'm worried I won't be able to contain myself. I'm going to have to bite my lip at work to not make boob jokes. I can just see it now, at a staff meeting I will say, "So Mooby Dick, what do you think?" or "Oh yeah, why don't you go over there and cry in your spilled milk...you know, the milk from your man boobs...." or if we are in the elevator, just as the doors start to close, I can jerk him backwards and say, "be careful, you'll get your boobs caught in the door!" I can't keep this kind of thing in. I can't be trusted. This is where the blog allows an outlet to get it out of my system. Or, does it just make the problem worse?
I don't know the answers, but Mooby Dick, here's to you...and you're man boobs. And now I've mentioned the words, "boob," "panties" "spanking" and "dick" in my blog. What kind of crazies will find my blog tonight?! Some days, it's a crap shoot. Great, now I just said "crap shoot." I have to stop.
No comments:
Post a Comment