I have nothing funny to say

It's not a good day. I'm sick of people.  I'm sick of happy people. I'm sick of people that live their dreams. I'm sick of people that seem to have their shit together. I'm sick of it all. I'm sick of people that post all those stupid enlightening quotes on their Facebook page.  Like I'm supposed to be inspired by God closing a door so that he can instead open a window.  I can't get my fat ass up to the window to get out.  You know why? because my knees are effed up.  Because I'd probably get stuck in the window.  Or if I did get out the window, it would be a window on the 18th floor of a building and then I would fall and splat on the pavement.  Opening a window doesn't do shit for me.  I hate that windows guts.  That window doesn't mean anything to me except a draft on a cold day when my heat doesn't work.  It's bullshit.

And don't even get me started on your stupid cute kitty picture with a stupid cat hanging from a branch and it says, "Hang in there, it's almost Friday!"  First of all, that stupid cat got on that damn branch by itself.  That cat doesn't deserve sympathy, it deserves a blast of cold water from a hose knocking it off the branch.  And, another thing, it isn't "almost" Friday.  It's effing Tuesday.  I don't know about the rest of you, but I count Wednesday and Thursday as days of the week before Friday.  Keep your inspirational kitteh to yourself.

And, I'm sick of people being inspired by other people and posting how wonderful they are and how amazing their story is.  You know what picture I related to today?  This one:

 This is how I feel every day.  Like a nail has been stabbed through my heart and it is stuck there. And I was the one that accidentally put it there and now I can't get it out.  Who does that?  Who is that stupid?  Apparently I am.  Any normal person would pull out the nail and move on with their life, not me.  I have that nail stuck.  I'm not inspired and apparently don't know how to be.  I don't care if you show me this:

It doesn't even warm my heart.  That little kid thinks he/she has the world by the ass because she has a pony, and that pony loves her, but she is wrong.  She is going to grow up and be miserable. Sure, she has dreams, but they are all bullshit.  someone needs to dump her ass in a puddle of mud and just let her get it over with now.  That pony is going to die and then what?  Will she get a big wheel?  Then some big kid will steal it, then she will just stay home and eat ding dongs until she is 600 pounds and then die in her apartment with cats living off her carcass for years until someone smells something and calls the cops.  It's the best she can hope for.

I do get hope from time to time and then God closes a door.  And then a window opens, but it is like a porthole in a ship.  There is no escape.  Fat girls can't get out portholes.

I hate today.  I have nothing funny to say today. 

The end.