Not Angry Enough...What?

Today I was talking about how overall readership is down on my blog.  Not knowing if I've lost my touch, or if people are just busy, or what?  I know people all over the world have seen it, per my stat report.  I don't know if the people in Sweden or China or wherever  really do read it, or if they just run into it while scanning other blogs or what.  But as I was talking about it at work today one gal said, "Well, maybe you aren't angry enough.  You haven't been that angry lately."  I guess it's kind of true. Being in captivity and all, away from society.  And, some of what makes me really angry I can't blog about, but it did get me to wondering if Angry Pony has spent too much time out in the pasture away from the traffic.  Maybe, somewhere on the other side of the barn, where I can't see him, he has found happiness and that is channeling to me.  That little bastard.  I can't be Happy Pony.  This is an outrage!

As the day progressed, and as I worked on auditing some expense reports, I did start to feel Angry Pony festering inside of me.  I mean, it could have been gas from the potlucks happening today.  I did feel pretty bloated.  I was so bloated I had to take my watch off.  If you have to take your watch off, you are up sh*t creek without a paddle.  I was just waiting for my belly button to become an outty instead of an inny.  And the sad part is, I didn't even eat that much, but when you have been eating clean for months, you can't just revert to wicked ways without consequence.  There is no fun in cheating anymore.  Frankly, it pisses me off.  Like today, for example, it's friggin National Donut Day and do you think one person brought donuts in?  NO.  Not a donut to be had in that whole damn call center.  Never mind on any given day when I am behaving I am surrounded with the effing things.  Today I wanted one and nothing.  And, as if to add insult to injury, they are serving free Gyros.  What. The. Hell.  It's donut day, not gyro day!  I was complaining to one of my bosses about it and he says, "You don't need a donut anyway."  What?!  I said, "Did you just call me fat?" He seemed unaffected by my insinuation and said that no, he wasn't calling me fat.  It's like maybe someone (maybe the wifey) has picked a fight with him before.  He wasn't biting today.  He returned to the safety of his office.  No one tells me I don't need a donut.  No one NEEDS a donut.  Fat, carbs, sugar...LARD...with pretty sprinkles, a delightful concoction that is not needed...it is wanted. Right or wrong, the heart wants what the heart wants.

Anyway, I managed to muddle through the day without a donut and didn't take any hostages. Aside from railing on the managers about their expense report skills, or lack thereof, I got to call some candidates and arrange for interviews.  I'm constantly baffled by the "talent" we are reeling in. I called one person and the conversation went down like this (names have been changed to protect the stupid):
"Yes is this Jody Jobless?" 
"Who wants to know?"
 "Well this is Cassondra from the glass palace."
"OH, ok, then yeah, it's me, Jody."
I advise her of her interview time and start to give her the details, "...and bring a copy of your resume.."
She stops me, "oh, I don't have a resume, I just filled out that resume builder thingy on-line." 
I was beyond amazed and so I said, "Well, perhaps you can whip one up over the weekend, because we are going to need to review your job history and experience."
"oh, ok."

I sat there after the call thinking, this is the future of the glass palace.  May the force be with us, because at this point, that is all we have to hold on to.

Next week proves to be fun as we get to do typing tests and interviews and I get to be super admin again. Oh, and it is Spirit Week at work next week.  I think there is prom day, super hero day, pajama day, etc.  I can't conduct business in my pajamas.  We have a hard enough time getting people to dress appropriately, I can't have the the new hires thinking it's okay to wear sleepwear.  Anyway, I should have more anger for you then.  I'll try and ramp up the angry.  If it makes anyone feel better, I got really pissed on the road today at some guy that waited till the last minute to merge over into my lane, didn't use his turn signal and almost crashed into my front bumper.  I was pretty angry then.  He had a stupid bumper sticker that said Peacemaker.  Let me tell you something, dumbass, if you want to keep the peace how about using your effing turn signal?  I also got pissed at Email Nazi for stealing one of my desk ponies and putting it in his armpit.  Just as I dispatched Stilletto Barbie to "handle" the situation, miraculously the pony was returned.  I told her to stick one of her stillettos into one of his "hidey" places.  No one messes with my ponies.

Ok, that's all you get, I don't want to over do my excitement and not have anything left for next week...you know, now that I know I'm too nice.  I never thought I would hear those words.  I'm going to have to re-strategize my thinking about my attitude.  Clearly.