My return to the workforce was today. Of course, the day I return, we have executives visiting. Probably not the best day to sport Crocs, so I wore some sandals that were the least offensive to my mending toe. I pulled off an acceptable ensemble.
I arrived at work to people welcoming me back, hugging me and advising me how they were happy to see me. What is the appropriate thing to say when someone says, "It's so good to see you! Are you glad to be back?" It was too soon to be bitter, so I said I was happy to be back. A small part of me was actually a little happy to be interacting with humans again. It was getting kind of old to be with the "kids." "Spanky, get off me. Spanky, you want to go outside? Spanky, you wanna come inside? Spanky, are you getting out of bed or not? Spanky, don't eat that crayon." And then, one of the managers came up and said, "it's good to see you, I know you don't really like to be hugged, but I want to give you a little hug." She then stood off to the side and gave me a kind of side hug that allowed for her to flee to safety if things went wrong. I likened it to someone petting a tiger at the zoo that was allegedly tame, but that everyone was scared of just in case it wasn't tame. I told her, "I am too a huggy person. Everyone thinks I'm not...but I am..." She didn't look like she believed me. It's just one of those things I have to live with, I guess. Of course, it is true I don't want just anyone hugging me...it's so hard to keep the riff-raff off, sometimes the interpersonal signals just overpower me. Probably a self protection mechanism. I should welcome it, I suppose.
Anyway, Valerie has been filling in for me and showed me several piles of papers, all of which were important to some degree. She had my email up, which contained a butt-load of emails and then I was advised of multiple things that needed to be handled, pronto. I mean, my God, we were out of white, gold and pink balloons. I needed to get that order in immediately. Plus, some people needed Post-its. I know where the Post-its are. I'm like, way important. My boss informed me that he has a lot of lost time to make up for and would be harassing me extra to make up for it. Oddly, this comforted me to some extent. The universe was as it was when I left a month ago. And so, the day went on like this. It should be documented that I start work at 8AM. It took until 9:03AM before I uttered my first, "This is the stupidest thing I have heard of..." I think that showed remarkable restraint. I've really grown during these last few weeks while I was at home watching HGTV, coloring and napping. Case in point, today Lizard Lick shows up at my desk and informs me that the copier in his department isn't working. I ask for the serial number, he provides it. I go to put in a trouble ticket for it, but the system can't find it. I ask Lizard if the number is correct. He assures me it is. Hmmm. I go about three rounds with the company that is contracted to fix the copiers. I'm about to get western with them and then I thought, "you know, I'd better check this out." I go limping down to his department and check the machine, and there, clearly marked on the lid, is the serial number Lizard gave me. Well, this isn't my first rodeo. I pull up one of the menus and sure enough, there it is, the real serial number. Another case solved by Inspector Admin. I asked the previous person that used to care for the machine's service calls about it. She informed me that yes, she did recall something about the wrong serial number being on there. I informed Lizard Lick that his department had just been down-graded and renamed from the Technology Center to the Non-Technology Center. Seriously. He said he would remove the sticker. The point of this silly little story is that I never even got mad and I didn't call anyone stupid. This rest period has really done wonders for me. Why, it's like having your ears rubbed!
I'm not going to lie, at about 1pm, I was thinking it was nap time and at about 3pm, I was thinking that this was my designated coloring time, but I pushed through and achieved a full work day. A proud day, indeed.
Now, let's talk about my plants. The orchid I was given for Admin Professional's day is pretty much a plant skeleton with a couple of dying buds. Valerie says this is normal. She says it is going into a state of hibernation. I look at my other plant and it is pretty sad. Dead leaves everywhere. Valerie says, "I know it looks dead, but I did water it. It will be fine." I have no choice but to believe this. It's at this point I see that my lip gloss is on a different part of the desk. I said, "did you use my lip gloss?" She said yes, she used that, tried on my glasses once, and then used my deoderant one day. I guess a girl has to do what a girl has to do. I'm just glad I didn't leave my toothbrush in the desk.
I guess that is pretty much the recap. Can't wait for more fun tomorrow.
I arrived at work to people welcoming me back, hugging me and advising me how they were happy to see me. What is the appropriate thing to say when someone says, "It's so good to see you! Are you glad to be back?" It was too soon to be bitter, so I said I was happy to be back. A small part of me was actually a little happy to be interacting with humans again. It was getting kind of old to be with the "kids." "Spanky, get off me. Spanky, you want to go outside? Spanky, you wanna come inside? Spanky, are you getting out of bed or not? Spanky, don't eat that crayon." And then, one of the managers came up and said, "it's good to see you, I know you don't really like to be hugged, but I want to give you a little hug." She then stood off to the side and gave me a kind of side hug that allowed for her to flee to safety if things went wrong. I likened it to someone petting a tiger at the zoo that was allegedly tame, but that everyone was scared of just in case it wasn't tame. I told her, "I am too a huggy person. Everyone thinks I'm not...but I am..." She didn't look like she believed me. It's just one of those things I have to live with, I guess. Of course, it is true I don't want just anyone hugging me...it's so hard to keep the riff-raff off, sometimes the interpersonal signals just overpower me. Probably a self protection mechanism. I should welcome it, I suppose.
Anyway, Valerie has been filling in for me and showed me several piles of papers, all of which were important to some degree. She had my email up, which contained a butt-load of emails and then I was advised of multiple things that needed to be handled, pronto. I mean, my God, we were out of white, gold and pink balloons. I needed to get that order in immediately. Plus, some people needed Post-its. I know where the Post-its are. I'm like, way important. My boss informed me that he has a lot of lost time to make up for and would be harassing me extra to make up for it. Oddly, this comforted me to some extent. The universe was as it was when I left a month ago. And so, the day went on like this. It should be documented that I start work at 8AM. It took until 9:03AM before I uttered my first, "This is the stupidest thing I have heard of..." I think that showed remarkable restraint. I've really grown during these last few weeks while I was at home watching HGTV, coloring and napping. Case in point, today Lizard Lick shows up at my desk and informs me that the copier in his department isn't working. I ask for the serial number, he provides it. I go to put in a trouble ticket for it, but the system can't find it. I ask Lizard if the number is correct. He assures me it is. Hmmm. I go about three rounds with the company that is contracted to fix the copiers. I'm about to get western with them and then I thought, "you know, I'd better check this out." I go limping down to his department and check the machine, and there, clearly marked on the lid, is the serial number Lizard gave me. Well, this isn't my first rodeo. I pull up one of the menus and sure enough, there it is, the real serial number. Another case solved by Inspector Admin. I asked the previous person that used to care for the machine's service calls about it. She informed me that yes, she did recall something about the wrong serial number being on there. I informed Lizard Lick that his department had just been down-graded and renamed from the Technology Center to the Non-Technology Center. Seriously. He said he would remove the sticker. The point of this silly little story is that I never even got mad and I didn't call anyone stupid. This rest period has really done wonders for me. Why, it's like having your ears rubbed!
I'm not going to lie, at about 1pm, I was thinking it was nap time and at about 3pm, I was thinking that this was my designated coloring time, but I pushed through and achieved a full work day. A proud day, indeed.
Now, let's talk about my plants. The orchid I was given for Admin Professional's day is pretty much a plant skeleton with a couple of dying buds. Valerie says this is normal. She says it is going into a state of hibernation. I look at my other plant and it is pretty sad. Dead leaves everywhere. Valerie says, "I know it looks dead, but I did water it. It will be fine." I have no choice but to believe this. It's at this point I see that my lip gloss is on a different part of the desk. I said, "did you use my lip gloss?" She said yes, she used that, tried on my glasses once, and then used my deoderant one day. I guess a girl has to do what a girl has to do. I'm just glad I didn't leave my toothbrush in the desk.
I guess that is pretty much the recap. Can't wait for more fun tomorrow.
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