Since I had my surgery, I do not absorb all vitamins as good as I should. Specifically, I struggle with my Vitamin D, my iron and my B-12. The B-12 is the biggest problem. Notice these are all energy and mood enhancing necessities, no wonder I'm like a soaked Huggies diaper sometimes. Anyway, the last time I was ordering my liquid vitamins online, I noticed they had some "Energy Shots" that were heavy on the B-12 and some other important stuff. All natural, no unhealthy "uppers," which is good, because I can't handle anything that is an herbal stimulant.
Today, I took one to work and decided I was going to take it. I told Four Feet of Fury that I was going to take this, so watch out if I go crazy. She whips it out of my hand and says, "let me see that! You aren't taking that! It says it is 'High Performance' what does that mean?" She is dead set against energy drinks and the like, says they are bad for you, which I tend to agree. I told her it was supposed to be all natural and should be fine. She starts looking up the ingredients online. I said, "Don't you want me to perform at a high level? Think of the crap I could get done, FASTER." She still seems skeptical. She gets to the second ingredient and starts laughing, "well this ingredient is good for erectile dysfunction, I don't even want to know what it is going to do to you." I said, "Well, if you see me humping my chair or being inappropriate with my ponies, straighten me out." She forbid me to take it. I went over to Valerina and said, "FFF says I can't take this, but I want to, so watch me. If I seem too intimate with my chair, stop me, okay?" She agreed, she'd keep an eye on me.
A few minutes after taking it, my chest fluttered a little bit and then I started giggling for no apparent reason. Shit. This is bad. My hand started to itch and my left eye started to twitch. It was at this moment I noticed one of the toys on my desk, a little dancing pony, had a pen positioned perfectly between it's legs so it looked like it had a big boner. I couldn't stop laughing. Dish Guy comes over and I said, "I have to ask you something, does this seem inappropriate to you?" He stared at it for a minute and said he didn't think anything of it. If the pen was sticking up in the air, maybe, but no. Fine. I had to move the pen, I couldn't take it anymore.
After moving around, adjusting the items on my desk, I repositioned my dress so I wasn't exposing myself. I looked down and noticed my boobs, dang, they look really good today. That FCD has them good and scrunched.. Then someone walked by with a Marie Calendar microwave lunch. Damn, that made me want a chicken pot pie. I texted Will that I needed chicken pot pie and then eventually sex. I was jacked up. I was talking fast. My boss came out and looked at me. I smiled a crazy smile. She went back in her office. Cross Fit Crazy came over and asked for some documents out of the file cabinet. I whipped around and walked over there, put the key in the cabinet and then cocked my foot up and tilted my head back. I just stood there like that. He started laughing, "what are you doing?" I said, "I have no idea." I gave him his stuff and went back to my desk. Suddenly, I wanted to get everything done, all at once, this was going to be great, because by now, it was almost time to go home. I looked at the clock again. Wait, what? I had looked at the clock, for what seemed like an hour ago and it said 3:15pm. It was now showing 3:24pm. I was in a time warp. What the hell was going on. I did a lot of stuff, it had to be an hour later, and yet, it wasn't. Great, at this rate, I was never going to finish my shift.
Dish Guy and his visiting boss, Cheetos & Takis, came over. They were asking me something, or was I telling them something, I don't remember, but I was talking fast and somehow couldn't really remember where I was going with all this, but told them that luckily my energy shot had worn off. They looked at each other and said, "...yeah, right...it's worn off..." What? I'm fine. I mean, I have a little headache now, but my eye isn't twitching anymore and my hand is back to normal. And, I totally didn't hump anything.
Valerina came over and I said, "I need crackers," with wild eyes. She said matter-of-factly like a Mom, "you aren't taking that stuff again." Fine. However, as I sit here at home, a few hours later, eating my chicken pot pie, I can't help but wonder if I could get used to that afternoon buzz. I'm watching Will over on the couch right now, eating his chicken pot pie, playing Quigly Down Under on his Kindle Fire and thinking, I wonder if he could use an energy shot...? He seems tired...and possibly "uninspired." I'm game to see if ingredient number two buys us anything extra.
Well, gotta go, gotta do dishes, clean horse stalls, feed the ponies, walk the dog, get lunch ready for tomorrow, think about what I'm going to wear, check FB, think about world peace and go to bed. In consideration of my readers, I will not be reporting back on the results of ingredient number two. You're welcome.
Today, I took one to work and decided I was going to take it. I told Four Feet of Fury that I was going to take this, so watch out if I go crazy. She whips it out of my hand and says, "let me see that! You aren't taking that! It says it is 'High Performance' what does that mean?" She is dead set against energy drinks and the like, says they are bad for you, which I tend to agree. I told her it was supposed to be all natural and should be fine. She starts looking up the ingredients online. I said, "Don't you want me to perform at a high level? Think of the crap I could get done, FASTER." She still seems skeptical. She gets to the second ingredient and starts laughing, "well this ingredient is good for erectile dysfunction, I don't even want to know what it is going to do to you." I said, "Well, if you see me humping my chair or being inappropriate with my ponies, straighten me out." She forbid me to take it. I went over to Valerina and said, "FFF says I can't take this, but I want to, so watch me. If I seem too intimate with my chair, stop me, okay?" She agreed, she'd keep an eye on me.
A few minutes after taking it, my chest fluttered a little bit and then I started giggling for no apparent reason. Shit. This is bad. My hand started to itch and my left eye started to twitch. It was at this moment I noticed one of the toys on my desk, a little dancing pony, had a pen positioned perfectly between it's legs so it looked like it had a big boner. I couldn't stop laughing. Dish Guy comes over and I said, "I have to ask you something, does this seem inappropriate to you?" He stared at it for a minute and said he didn't think anything of it. If the pen was sticking up in the air, maybe, but no. Fine. I had to move the pen, I couldn't take it anymore.
 |
| Come on, it's a little dirty, right? |
After moving around, adjusting the items on my desk, I repositioned my dress so I wasn't exposing myself. I looked down and noticed my boobs, dang, they look really good today. That FCD has them good and scrunched.. Then someone walked by with a Marie Calendar microwave lunch. Damn, that made me want a chicken pot pie. I texted Will that I needed chicken pot pie and then eventually sex. I was jacked up. I was talking fast. My boss came out and looked at me. I smiled a crazy smile. She went back in her office. Cross Fit Crazy came over and asked for some documents out of the file cabinet. I whipped around and walked over there, put the key in the cabinet and then cocked my foot up and tilted my head back. I just stood there like that. He started laughing, "what are you doing?" I said, "I have no idea." I gave him his stuff and went back to my desk. Suddenly, I wanted to get everything done, all at once, this was going to be great, because by now, it was almost time to go home. I looked at the clock again. Wait, what? I had looked at the clock, for what seemed like an hour ago and it said 3:15pm. It was now showing 3:24pm. I was in a time warp. What the hell was going on. I did a lot of stuff, it had to be an hour later, and yet, it wasn't. Great, at this rate, I was never going to finish my shift.
Dish Guy and his visiting boss, Cheetos & Takis, came over. They were asking me something, or was I telling them something, I don't remember, but I was talking fast and somehow couldn't really remember where I was going with all this, but told them that luckily my energy shot had worn off. They looked at each other and said, "...yeah, right...it's worn off..." What? I'm fine. I mean, I have a little headache now, but my eye isn't twitching anymore and my hand is back to normal. And, I totally didn't hump anything.
Valerina came over and I said, "I need crackers," with wild eyes. She said matter-of-factly like a Mom, "you aren't taking that stuff again." Fine. However, as I sit here at home, a few hours later, eating my chicken pot pie, I can't help but wonder if I could get used to that afternoon buzz. I'm watching Will over on the couch right now, eating his chicken pot pie, playing Quigly Down Under on his Kindle Fire and thinking, I wonder if he could use an energy shot...? He seems tired...and possibly "uninspired." I'm game to see if ingredient number two buys us anything extra.
Well, gotta go, gotta do dishes, clean horse stalls, feed the ponies, walk the dog, get lunch ready for tomorrow, think about what I'm going to wear, check FB, think about world peace and go to bed. In consideration of my readers, I will not be reporting back on the results of ingredient number two. You're welcome.
No comments:
Post a Comment