I know many of you, especially those on the West Coast, have seen all the recent stories about the predictions of the next big earthquake. The Mega-Quake we are due for. It's supposed to happen within the next 50 years. That means any moment forward through 50 years. And if it doesn't happen by then, just continue to wait, because it's coming. It's the mother of all earthquakes and many of us will die. Specifically, everyone West of I-5 pretty much from Canada down through California. If the earthquake doesn't kill you, the tsunami will. We are pretty much waiting to die. So, maybe you've heard about it?
Anyone that knows me knows that I am a bit of a worrier. According to God's word, we aren't supposed to worry, we are supposed to have faith and all that. What is going to happen is out of our hands, blah, blah, blah. Look, since I'm a fatty and I'm poor, there is a lot of stuff I can't do, so in the time I'm not doing that stuff, I've got some time on my hands to think about this. I mean, it's kind of freaking me out. I mean, not really, but at the same time, I'm kind of worried. I'm not, like, building a doomsday shelter or anything but that is just because I haven't had the time or funding. Shark Bait says not to worry. We aren't going to die and if it happens, he will come get me, no matter where I am, he will come for me. This is all well and good, but I've got some concerns about how that is going to happen, as you may have guessed.
Yesterday Shark Bait and I were taking a drive in the truck and I brought the subject up again. Shark Bait reiterated that we were going to be fine, if it even happened. Oh, it's going to happen. Haven't you seen the movie The Day After Tomorrow and the movie trailer for San Andreas? Haven't you been watching the news and Facebook and all the media about it? It's just a matter of time. We don't know when. We could be anywhere. At home, at work, it could be the day we decide to go into the big city. And, if we go into the big city, we are surely going to be among the first dead. It's like he isn't even in touch with reality. He said, "If it happens at work, you stay put and I will come get you. I promise you, I'm coming for you. If it happens, the first thing you are going to do is get to Safeway, get as much money as you can out of the cash machine and then get water and snacks. You need water. It's crucial. I'll come home, take care of the animals and come for you." This lead to a lot of questions.
Me: What if you can't get home because all the bridges are out?
Shark Bait: I'll get there. I'll swim if I have to. If I have to abandon my truck and walk home, I will.
Me: That's going to take a long time and I don't want you swimming across the river, you could drown and if you are dead, you are of no use to me. I'm going to worry if you tell me you're swimming. No swimming.
Shark Bait: I won't drown, and it's only 20 miles, I can make that in a day. I've done 20 miles in a day before.
Me: Recently? Because I don't see you walking 20 miles in a day.
Shark Bait: (looking at me irritated) I will do what I have to do. I will get to you.
Me: What if I'm dead? How will you know I'm alive. I work in a five story building. I could be trapped in there, either squished or dying a slow painful death screaming for someone to save me, but no one does because there is so much trauma everywhere, there isn't enough manpower. I could die there, my voice haunting the building and then my carcass starts to decay. Who will feed the dogs if we are both dead? How long with the dogs and horses live without food?
Shark Bait: I will know you are alive. I will believe it and you will be. You are not going to die.
Me: Even if you do get home, how will you get to me? There are a lot of bridges. It will be chaos.
Shark Bait: I'll make it. I'll hook up the USS Squishy and come get you. And if you leave work, leave a note for me, so when I get there, I know where you went. If you go to a shelter and then leave there, leave a note so I know. Leave a note about what path you are taking so I can find you. If you start home on foot, make sure you have water and cash to buy a ferry ride across the water. People will be charging outlandish rates because people are animals of opportunity. Just let me know the path you are taking. And if you find a wheelbarrow, take it.
Me: Why do I need a wheelbarrow?
Shark Bait: For your stuff.
Me: I'm not pushing a fucking wheelbarrow on my incredible freaking journey over God only knows what kind of terrain.
Shark Bait: Your back won't be able to take it with a backpack, not carrying all that stuff.
Me: How much stuff do you think I'm going to be carrying? I can live off my fat, I need water and maybe a coat and blanket. I don't know, what if this happens in the dead of winter. We could die out there.
Shark Bait: Well then, wait for me.
Me: How will I know you are coming? How long should I wait? How do I know you didn't die?
Shark Bait: I'm not going to die, and I don't care how long it takes, I will come for you and I will find you. I won't rest until I do.
Me: But who's going to feed the dogs while you are braving the wild frontier? And what about the horses. How do we know if my Mom will be home to take care of them? How do we know if she made it? Should we put messages on Facebook to communicate if we find any signal?
Shark Bait: Don't worry about the dogs and horses. I'll ride the horses to come get you if I need to.
Me: How will they get across the water?
Shark Bait: We don't know the bridges will be useless, we just won't know. But, I'll get to you.
Me: Okay, so say we make it and we get back home, then what? Will we have to live primitively for days, weeks, years? Do we have no jobs and no money? How do we live? Will we turn into looters and live by the gun in the streets at high noon?
And so the conversation went on and on. I'm not even going to sugar coat it, it was painful. Mostly for Shark Bait. He says to just have faith and know that he is coming for me, like he is a freaking super hero or something. I mean, I guess he is my hero in a way, but come on, it's going to be a Mega-Quake. They are saying the Tsunami is going to take out the entire coast and then the land will be under water. We are not pineapples under the sea, we can't live under water. We can't. Will says we can go to his parents house in Eastern Washington. What about the ponies and all our stuff? Will we have to be like they were on the Oregon Trail? I don't know how many weeks it would take us to get there, but it would be a long haul. We don't even have a wagon. Do we have to build one? Steal one?
Or, I could get hit by a car tomorrow and never have to worry about the earthquake. Or, it could happen when I'm like 80, if I live that long, and if that is the case, I guess I'll just sit there and pray for the tsunami to take me.
Look, I'm just saying, I have questions. I should just have faith, I guess, but I work on the third floor, what are the odds I am going to survive this thing? What if the building almost crushes, but there are a bunch of us in there living in little air pockets but the sewage from all the toilets is floating throughout the building. That's how I picture it going down. Who's gonna call maintenance about that? What if I'm trapped in one of those air pocket places with the most annoying person in the building? Will I just slam my head against the nearest piece of concrete and end it all? What if just my arm is trapped under part of the rubble? Will I have to gnaw my arm off to free myself? I guess I'd have a snack for later.
Say the building doesn't collapse. Say we make it, but there is no clean water supply. So, next thing you know, we are drinking contaminated water, the mosquitoes start biting us that were living at the turd laundry just a few miles down on I-5, then we get Malaria or some other disease and it starts to spread. Now, we are all sick, we all have open sores and are dying a slow painful death. It spreads all over the state and then the nation and then possibly the world, but probably just the nation, unless someone takes a flight to like Africa. Like those people need anymore drama and disease. I mean, this could be catastrophic.
Am I the only one considering the ramifications of the Mega-Quake that is bound to be the end of civilization on the West Coast? Anyone else? Anyone? I can't worry for everyone, surely there must be someone else.
This would be a perfect time to say things like, "live each day as if there is no tomorrow." "Make sure to say I love you every time you get the chance as you may never get another." This is probably the time for that, but seriously, if the Mega-Quake happens, it isn't even going to matter if you are wearing clean or dirty underwear because we are all going to be shitting ourselves and then kissing our ass good-bye.
I think that sums up my concerns, mostly, but not completely. I could go on and on. I have a lot more questions. Maybe next time. I have to go live life to the fullest until I go to bed.
Sleep tight, if you can. Hope we make it till morning. Love you (in case I don't get a chance to say it later).
Anyone that knows me knows that I am a bit of a worrier. According to God's word, we aren't supposed to worry, we are supposed to have faith and all that. What is going to happen is out of our hands, blah, blah, blah. Look, since I'm a fatty and I'm poor, there is a lot of stuff I can't do, so in the time I'm not doing that stuff, I've got some time on my hands to think about this. I mean, it's kind of freaking me out. I mean, not really, but at the same time, I'm kind of worried. I'm not, like, building a doomsday shelter or anything but that is just because I haven't had the time or funding. Shark Bait says not to worry. We aren't going to die and if it happens, he will come get me, no matter where I am, he will come for me. This is all well and good, but I've got some concerns about how that is going to happen, as you may have guessed.
Yesterday Shark Bait and I were taking a drive in the truck and I brought the subject up again. Shark Bait reiterated that we were going to be fine, if it even happened. Oh, it's going to happen. Haven't you seen the movie The Day After Tomorrow and the movie trailer for San Andreas? Haven't you been watching the news and Facebook and all the media about it? It's just a matter of time. We don't know when. We could be anywhere. At home, at work, it could be the day we decide to go into the big city. And, if we go into the big city, we are surely going to be among the first dead. It's like he isn't even in touch with reality. He said, "If it happens at work, you stay put and I will come get you. I promise you, I'm coming for you. If it happens, the first thing you are going to do is get to Safeway, get as much money as you can out of the cash machine and then get water and snacks. You need water. It's crucial. I'll come home, take care of the animals and come for you." This lead to a lot of questions.
Me: What if you can't get home because all the bridges are out?
Shark Bait: I'll get there. I'll swim if I have to. If I have to abandon my truck and walk home, I will.
Me: That's going to take a long time and I don't want you swimming across the river, you could drown and if you are dead, you are of no use to me. I'm going to worry if you tell me you're swimming. No swimming.
Shark Bait: I won't drown, and it's only 20 miles, I can make that in a day. I've done 20 miles in a day before.
Me: Recently? Because I don't see you walking 20 miles in a day.
Shark Bait: (looking at me irritated) I will do what I have to do. I will get to you.
Me: What if I'm dead? How will you know I'm alive. I work in a five story building. I could be trapped in there, either squished or dying a slow painful death screaming for someone to save me, but no one does because there is so much trauma everywhere, there isn't enough manpower. I could die there, my voice haunting the building and then my carcass starts to decay. Who will feed the dogs if we are both dead? How long with the dogs and horses live without food?
Shark Bait: I will know you are alive. I will believe it and you will be. You are not going to die.
Me: Even if you do get home, how will you get to me? There are a lot of bridges. It will be chaos.
Shark Bait: I'll make it. I'll hook up the USS Squishy and come get you. And if you leave work, leave a note for me, so when I get there, I know where you went. If you go to a shelter and then leave there, leave a note so I know. Leave a note about what path you are taking so I can find you. If you start home on foot, make sure you have water and cash to buy a ferry ride across the water. People will be charging outlandish rates because people are animals of opportunity. Just let me know the path you are taking. And if you find a wheelbarrow, take it.
Me: Why do I need a wheelbarrow?
Shark Bait: For your stuff.
Me: I'm not pushing a fucking wheelbarrow on my incredible freaking journey over God only knows what kind of terrain.
Shark Bait: Your back won't be able to take it with a backpack, not carrying all that stuff.
Me: How much stuff do you think I'm going to be carrying? I can live off my fat, I need water and maybe a coat and blanket. I don't know, what if this happens in the dead of winter. We could die out there.
Shark Bait: Well then, wait for me.
Me: How will I know you are coming? How long should I wait? How do I know you didn't die?
Shark Bait: I'm not going to die, and I don't care how long it takes, I will come for you and I will find you. I won't rest until I do.
Me: But who's going to feed the dogs while you are braving the wild frontier? And what about the horses. How do we know if my Mom will be home to take care of them? How do we know if she made it? Should we put messages on Facebook to communicate if we find any signal?
Shark Bait: Don't worry about the dogs and horses. I'll ride the horses to come get you if I need to.
Me: How will they get across the water?
Shark Bait: We don't know the bridges will be useless, we just won't know. But, I'll get to you.
Me: Okay, so say we make it and we get back home, then what? Will we have to live primitively for days, weeks, years? Do we have no jobs and no money? How do we live? Will we turn into looters and live by the gun in the streets at high noon?
And so the conversation went on and on. I'm not even going to sugar coat it, it was painful. Mostly for Shark Bait. He says to just have faith and know that he is coming for me, like he is a freaking super hero or something. I mean, I guess he is my hero in a way, but come on, it's going to be a Mega-Quake. They are saying the Tsunami is going to take out the entire coast and then the land will be under water. We are not pineapples under the sea, we can't live under water. We can't. Will says we can go to his parents house in Eastern Washington. What about the ponies and all our stuff? Will we have to be like they were on the Oregon Trail? I don't know how many weeks it would take us to get there, but it would be a long haul. We don't even have a wagon. Do we have to build one? Steal one?
Or, I could get hit by a car tomorrow and never have to worry about the earthquake. Or, it could happen when I'm like 80, if I live that long, and if that is the case, I guess I'll just sit there and pray for the tsunami to take me.
Look, I'm just saying, I have questions. I should just have faith, I guess, but I work on the third floor, what are the odds I am going to survive this thing? What if the building almost crushes, but there are a bunch of us in there living in little air pockets but the sewage from all the toilets is floating throughout the building. That's how I picture it going down. Who's gonna call maintenance about that? What if I'm trapped in one of those air pocket places with the most annoying person in the building? Will I just slam my head against the nearest piece of concrete and end it all? What if just my arm is trapped under part of the rubble? Will I have to gnaw my arm off to free myself? I guess I'd have a snack for later.
Say the building doesn't collapse. Say we make it, but there is no clean water supply. So, next thing you know, we are drinking contaminated water, the mosquitoes start biting us that were living at the turd laundry just a few miles down on I-5, then we get Malaria or some other disease and it starts to spread. Now, we are all sick, we all have open sores and are dying a slow painful death. It spreads all over the state and then the nation and then possibly the world, but probably just the nation, unless someone takes a flight to like Africa. Like those people need anymore drama and disease. I mean, this could be catastrophic.
Am I the only one considering the ramifications of the Mega-Quake that is bound to be the end of civilization on the West Coast? Anyone else? Anyone? I can't worry for everyone, surely there must be someone else.
This would be a perfect time to say things like, "live each day as if there is no tomorrow." "Make sure to say I love you every time you get the chance as you may never get another." This is probably the time for that, but seriously, if the Mega-Quake happens, it isn't even going to matter if you are wearing clean or dirty underwear because we are all going to be shitting ourselves and then kissing our ass good-bye.
I think that sums up my concerns, mostly, but not completely. I could go on and on. I have a lot more questions. Maybe next time. I have to go live life to the fullest until I go to bed.
Sleep tight, if you can. Hope we make it till morning. Love you (in case I don't get a chance to say it later).
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