Today was the last day of the VIP visit. I had to pull out one more day of looking like a professional. To that end, I pulled out my tan slacks. Due to the amount of cellulite on my legs, I had to put on my Pranx to give a smoother appearance. They are like tummy control on top and then just regular nylons down to my toes. Nothing unusual. I got them on without any drama and without snagging them. It was a victory. Off to work I go.
After being at work and doing the normal morning flight of the bumblebee, I had to pee. I ran into the restroom and took care of business. As I went to pull up my Pranx, I notice there is a built in pee hole type situation going on in the crotch. What? How did I not notice that before? I mean, I don't really spend time looking at my vagina when I get dressed, so I guess that is how I missed it. When putting on Pranx, it is kind of a workout in itself, there is no time for exploring anything, you just gotta get em on, put your hand down the back, yank on them some more, pull your underwear back out of your butt crack, then put your hand down the front and make sure your underwear aren't up your hoo-hoo either, then reach down between your legs and get the individual legs all the way up so the top of your legs don't rub together. Now, jiggle your legs a little so the cellulite settles in. It's a process, I guess is what I am saying. There isn't time or energy for self exploration or to see if your crotch gave out during the process. The damn Pranx are on and that is that.
Anyway, I am baffled by this hole in the crotch of my Pranx. I mean, I understand how these types of holes work for guys. They pull their thingy out and pee, shake it off, then poke it back in. Simple. Exactly what would I have had to go through to use the pee hole? I would have had to get my underwear off to the side, then gotten the pee hole open, then hover over the toilet. Even then there would have been some unsanitary things going on. I don't know if the people that make Pranx know how a vagina works, but it pretty much just sprays pee out. Someone needs to tell them. Maybe I will forward this blog to them. I can't imagine what kind of mess I would have made trying to use the pee hole. I'd rather do the Pranx hustle to get them off and then back on. Anyway, again, as I was trying to get them back on, my bracelet got stuck on my underwear. Damn it! Now, I'm all twisted and contorted trying to get my bracelet unstuck. My pants are halfway down, the Pranx are halfway up and now, I'm stuck. This went on for what felt like eternity, but was realistically only about three minutes. I didn't want to die in there. What if someone found me like that? And then they go to take me out on the gurney and they notice my Pranx have a hole in the crotch and they are like, what the hell kind of freak is this chick that she has a built in hole in her pantyhose? It could have happened, you don't know.
It was brought to my attention later that maybe the hole isn't for peeing. Maybe it is for sex? I mean, that would cut down on the amount of jiggling during sex and it would be nice to not ruin the mood by the person trying to get them off. I think this sounds dangerous though. What about the friction? What about the spandex part? A guy could get bucked off. Maybe Will and I will try that and I will get back to you. I doubt it. The presence of the hole disturbs me. Did I buy something that is designed for someone with a strap on? Oh my word, did I buy cross-dresser Pranx? There are too many questions. I need to send the makers of Pranx a letter. I'll report back as soon as I hear. Then we can all have closure...no pun intended. Or, maybe I could find the package they came in and read it. Maybe there are instructions or explanations. No, I think the letter is the way to go. I think they have explaining to do regardless of what the marketing people print on the package. Right?
After being at work and doing the normal morning flight of the bumblebee, I had to pee. I ran into the restroom and took care of business. As I went to pull up my Pranx, I notice there is a built in pee hole type situation going on in the crotch. What? How did I not notice that before? I mean, I don't really spend time looking at my vagina when I get dressed, so I guess that is how I missed it. When putting on Pranx, it is kind of a workout in itself, there is no time for exploring anything, you just gotta get em on, put your hand down the back, yank on them some more, pull your underwear back out of your butt crack, then put your hand down the front and make sure your underwear aren't up your hoo-hoo either, then reach down between your legs and get the individual legs all the way up so the top of your legs don't rub together. Now, jiggle your legs a little so the cellulite settles in. It's a process, I guess is what I am saying. There isn't time or energy for self exploration or to see if your crotch gave out during the process. The damn Pranx are on and that is that.
Anyway, I am baffled by this hole in the crotch of my Pranx. I mean, I understand how these types of holes work for guys. They pull their thingy out and pee, shake it off, then poke it back in. Simple. Exactly what would I have had to go through to use the pee hole? I would have had to get my underwear off to the side, then gotten the pee hole open, then hover over the toilet. Even then there would have been some unsanitary things going on. I don't know if the people that make Pranx know how a vagina works, but it pretty much just sprays pee out. Someone needs to tell them. Maybe I will forward this blog to them. I can't imagine what kind of mess I would have made trying to use the pee hole. I'd rather do the Pranx hustle to get them off and then back on. Anyway, again, as I was trying to get them back on, my bracelet got stuck on my underwear. Damn it! Now, I'm all twisted and contorted trying to get my bracelet unstuck. My pants are halfway down, the Pranx are halfway up and now, I'm stuck. This went on for what felt like eternity, but was realistically only about three minutes. I didn't want to die in there. What if someone found me like that? And then they go to take me out on the gurney and they notice my Pranx have a hole in the crotch and they are like, what the hell kind of freak is this chick that she has a built in hole in her pantyhose? It could have happened, you don't know.
It was brought to my attention later that maybe the hole isn't for peeing. Maybe it is for sex? I mean, that would cut down on the amount of jiggling during sex and it would be nice to not ruin the mood by the person trying to get them off. I think this sounds dangerous though. What about the friction? What about the spandex part? A guy could get bucked off. Maybe Will and I will try that and I will get back to you. I doubt it. The presence of the hole disturbs me. Did I buy something that is designed for someone with a strap on? Oh my word, did I buy cross-dresser Pranx? There are too many questions. I need to send the makers of Pranx a letter. I'll report back as soon as I hear. Then we can all have closure...no pun intended. Or, maybe I could find the package they came in and read it. Maybe there are instructions or explanations. No, I think the letter is the way to go. I think they have explaining to do regardless of what the marketing people print on the package. Right?
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