On the way home tonight, I was almost taken out by a mother-trucking motorhome. Traffic is slow, like 5 mph and we are all creeping along. I'm in the middle lane and a motorhome comes up along side me. I know they saw me, they had to have. As their front tire clears the front of my truck, I notice their blinker comes on and they are progressing into my lane. I am immediately horrified, because I AM IN MY MOTHER TRUCKING LANE!!! Me. In my truck. Together, my truck and I, are occupying space IN MY LANE. The mouth breathing, armpit licking, toe jamb sniffing, butt picking, zit popping, dog shit eating mother trucking asshat is coming in on top of me. I am sitting there gripping the steering wheel for dear life as I have no freaking place to go and I am laying on my horn. Nope, the butt cheese eating asshat doesn't fucking care. It must have been the Honey Badger driving because nobody gave a shit. I was so furious as I watched the motorhome barely clear my truck as it bullied it's way into my lane. It had a freaking motorcycle strapped to the back that almost took out my headlights. I was beyond livid. I just wanted to keep driving in my lane and see who won. But, I knew the answer. They were bigger, meaner, more ignorant and, they liked the taste of butt cheese. I can't compete with that.
After they overtook the lane, I got over into the passing lane so I could get up next to them and give them a piece of my mind and possibly a finger. I guess it wasn't meant to be as darkness was falling and I could not make out the face of the motorhome terrorist. As my blood pressure boiled and I thought of all the things I would like to do to that person, I could only think, "Day 11 - I'm thankful I'm not packing because that scum sucking, baboon ass licking piece of rat excrement would be sitting right on the shoulder of the road, right next to the turd laundry with four shot out tires and I would be yelling, "yippie-ki-ya-mother trucker!" Drive that Bitches.
From a legal standpoint, it probably wouldn't end well for me. But that got me to thinking, why is it that my husband has to have a CDL to drive his delivery truck or a bus, but any 96 year old lover of butt cheese can drive a motorhome that is bigger than anything in the local trailer park? Or some stupid bitch and her asshat husband can take to the road with their home away from home terrorizing local civilians? It's bullshit. I think you should have to get a license and matching license plate to identify yourself. Like, you have to take a test about your personality and based on that personality and a driving test, you are assigned a license. If you are an inconsiderate asshat, you get a license stamped as Motorhome Asshat - your corresponding license plate says MOTO-ASS. If you are like, over 60, you get a stamp of Blind as a Bat - Your license plate is BLNDSPT. If you are just mean or stupid, you are a Mother Trucker of the worst kind and your corresponding plate is MOFO-69.
Lets identify people, so people like me can go about my day and do my best to not get killed by the motorhome terrorists. It's bad enough you've got the everyday mainstream mother truckers out there that almost kill you, but those motorhomes...that shit is not okay. I'm just going to put this out there, if you are a motorhome driver, I hate your guts. Okay, I can't hate all of you, because I do like some of you, but you damn well better learn how to drive the damn things and don't be a bully. It makes the pony angry. And, if anyone knows who the asshat, mofo terrorist was on I-5 in Everett tonight at 5:15ish, headed Northbound, I'd like that person's information. I have a gift for them. A very special gift. You know how to reach me.
After they overtook the lane, I got over into the passing lane so I could get up next to them and give them a piece of my mind and possibly a finger. I guess it wasn't meant to be as darkness was falling and I could not make out the face of the motorhome terrorist. As my blood pressure boiled and I thought of all the things I would like to do to that person, I could only think, "Day 11 - I'm thankful I'm not packing because that scum sucking, baboon ass licking piece of rat excrement would be sitting right on the shoulder of the road, right next to the turd laundry with four shot out tires and I would be yelling, "yippie-ki-ya-mother trucker!" Drive that Bitches.
From a legal standpoint, it probably wouldn't end well for me. But that got me to thinking, why is it that my husband has to have a CDL to drive his delivery truck or a bus, but any 96 year old lover of butt cheese can drive a motorhome that is bigger than anything in the local trailer park? Or some stupid bitch and her asshat husband can take to the road with their home away from home terrorizing local civilians? It's bullshit. I think you should have to get a license and matching license plate to identify yourself. Like, you have to take a test about your personality and based on that personality and a driving test, you are assigned a license. If you are an inconsiderate asshat, you get a license stamped as Motorhome Asshat - your corresponding license plate says MOTO-ASS. If you are like, over 60, you get a stamp of Blind as a Bat - Your license plate is BLNDSPT. If you are just mean or stupid, you are a Mother Trucker of the worst kind and your corresponding plate is MOFO-69.
Lets identify people, so people like me can go about my day and do my best to not get killed by the motorhome terrorists. It's bad enough you've got the everyday mainstream mother truckers out there that almost kill you, but those motorhomes...that shit is not okay. I'm just going to put this out there, if you are a motorhome driver, I hate your guts. Okay, I can't hate all of you, because I do like some of you, but you damn well better learn how to drive the damn things and don't be a bully. It makes the pony angry. And, if anyone knows who the asshat, mofo terrorist was on I-5 in Everett tonight at 5:15ish, headed Northbound, I'd like that person's information. I have a gift for them. A very special gift. You know how to reach me.
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