I'm not going to beat around the bush, today sucked. It's Monday, and therefore, by nature, it doesn't have a lot going for it. Unless you were one of the lucky SOB's that got the day off for President's Day. Lucky bastards.
Anyway, after I woke up at 4AM from disturbing dreams, I couldn't get back to sleep. Finally, I just went ahead and got up. As I was getting ready for work, I thought, why not try and rock some big hair today, that might help my mood. A little mousse, a curling iron and quite a bit of hairspray later, I looked like freaking Adele. I just needed cat eyes and a scoop neck dress and I was there. Rumor Has It, from Someone Like You, I was Rolling in the Deep, Turning Tables, Setting Fire to the Rain and watching the Skyfall. Yikes, this wasn't helping my mood.
The day, overall, went okay. I went down to the gym and Ass Kicker worked me over pretty good. I came back to my desk and sat there like Jell-O. My budget Adele hair was quite a bit calmer now and, my butt hurt. All those walk out plank things on the big exercise ball thing with kettle bells, that was rough. I almost couldn't lift my arms. Oh, and my stupid vaccine site is still red, hot and angry, so my arm really was a hot mess. I wanted to call the doctor and see if all this swelling, heat and rash was normal, but Sassy Ipod Girl said that I shouldn't worry as one of her kids had this same reaction. I asked her when I should start worrying, exactly? When my arm turns black and falls off? This was the agreed upon benchmark. So, I guess I just wait it out.
I turned my attention back to expense reports. After being gone so long, I was having to Sherlock Holmes this thing. It was stressing me out. So much so, that I made a little faux pas on my bosses expense report. I sent him the following, shame-filled instant message: "hey...if you get an email from the corporate card folks talking about a 'mishap' just let me handle it. Sorry, but I got this. Woops." It is fixable, but now I have to ask someone to undo what I did and then I need to go back and fix it, which means I have to babysit this situation and rely on other people. Dislike.
And, as if that drama wasn't enough, someone was disgruntled because the Valentine "balloon gram" they paid for on Valentine's Day allegedly never made it to the recipient. We were selling balloon grams to benefit a charity. They were like a buck or so. But today, this person wanted us to make it right. I was asked for an extra Valentine. I didn't have an extra Valentine, nor was I going to make one. Seriously, it is this many days after, it was for a good cause, you can't just let this go? I grabbed a box of those heart candies with all the sayings on them that someone gave me, scratched my name off, put hers on there, grabbed a pink post-it, drew a heart and wrote Happy Valentine's Day on it. I said, "There, happy freaking Valentine's Day." I'm just solving problems left and right.
I was getting ready to leave when one of the interns from another department needs something. Damn it, almost clear. The thing she needs is missing. It got "hidden" when the VIP's came. Again, I was infuriated. Why these people gotta mess with my stuff?! I went into this locked room we have that is called the prize room because it used to hold all kinds of prizes. Now it holds junk. And, when they cleaned the center, all the extra crap went in there. I was standing in the room, my vaccine site throbbing, my temples ready to explode and I'm cussing a blue streak. In that moment, I wanted to start grabbing stuff and throwing it and yelling at the top of my lungs like my Dad would have. I understood why he would destroy things in anger, it was extremely therapeutic. I needed that release...but I couldn't move my f*cking arms. Damn you Ass Kicker. Foiled again. Now, even more mad, I left. You know that tiger at the zoo pacing the fence because your kid looks like a gimpy gazelle and he wants to eat him? That was me. I was about to go buck wild in this zoo. Long story, a little bit shorter, I did manage to finally find what I was looking for, thankfully. All the visitors at the zoo would live to see another day.
I finally left work. On the way out, I walked by to say goodnight to one of my friends and she was crying, feeling hopeless and like she was being sucked into the swamps of sadness. Shit. What could I possibly say to her? What advice could I offer? I had nothing. I went through what she was going through. I just cowgirled up because I couldn't quit and eventually things got better. No one wants to hear that. No one believes that when they are in the swamp of sadness. I told her I was sorry. Maybe I should have told her to take her damn headset off and come with me and F this place. Maybe I should have told her to stop crying and suck it up. Maybe there was nothing I could say. Sigh. I don't like the people I love to be unhappy. I had to get the hell out of there. After all, I needed to stop at Target on the way home to buy gift cards. I hate doing that.
So, Target. Screaming baby. White trailer trash Mom talking to her very possibly pregnant 12 yr oldish daughter like she is a piece of crap and screaming at her. They followed me everywhere I went. I just needed some effing Vanilla Frosting Lip Smackers lip gloss and the freaking gift cards. Crikey! Get back to your trailer park, woman and buy some friggin condoms for teen Mom. I make it to the check-out line and some stupid old bag and her husband are ramming their cart up my ass. I'm trying to enter my pin number into the damn thing-a-ma-bob and Big Ass Bernice is on me like flies on shit. I was doing a slow burn. It was now time to buy the gift cards with the ol corporate card. I needed to sign, but kind of hard when she is completely inside my personal bubble. I took my whole body and took a step towards her, shoved my butt at her and then lengthened out my arms so I could sign in private. I still don't think she got it, but I don't effing care. AAAAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!
Finally, destination, home. I'm tired. Will is tired. The dogs are tired. The horses, mostly hungry. Another Monday, in the can. Over. Done.
Bring on Tuesday. Let's get to Friday as soon as possible.
Target
Anyway, after I woke up at 4AM from disturbing dreams, I couldn't get back to sleep. Finally, I just went ahead and got up. As I was getting ready for work, I thought, why not try and rock some big hair today, that might help my mood. A little mousse, a curling iron and quite a bit of hairspray later, I looked like freaking Adele. I just needed cat eyes and a scoop neck dress and I was there. Rumor Has It, from Someone Like You, I was Rolling in the Deep, Turning Tables, Setting Fire to the Rain and watching the Skyfall. Yikes, this wasn't helping my mood.
The day, overall, went okay. I went down to the gym and Ass Kicker worked me over pretty good. I came back to my desk and sat there like Jell-O. My budget Adele hair was quite a bit calmer now and, my butt hurt. All those walk out plank things on the big exercise ball thing with kettle bells, that was rough. I almost couldn't lift my arms. Oh, and my stupid vaccine site is still red, hot and angry, so my arm really was a hot mess. I wanted to call the doctor and see if all this swelling, heat and rash was normal, but Sassy Ipod Girl said that I shouldn't worry as one of her kids had this same reaction. I asked her when I should start worrying, exactly? When my arm turns black and falls off? This was the agreed upon benchmark. So, I guess I just wait it out.
I turned my attention back to expense reports. After being gone so long, I was having to Sherlock Holmes this thing. It was stressing me out. So much so, that I made a little faux pas on my bosses expense report. I sent him the following, shame-filled instant message: "hey...if you get an email from the corporate card folks talking about a 'mishap' just let me handle it. Sorry, but I got this. Woops." It is fixable, but now I have to ask someone to undo what I did and then I need to go back and fix it, which means I have to babysit this situation and rely on other people. Dislike.
And, as if that drama wasn't enough, someone was disgruntled because the Valentine "balloon gram" they paid for on Valentine's Day allegedly never made it to the recipient. We were selling balloon grams to benefit a charity. They were like a buck or so. But today, this person wanted us to make it right. I was asked for an extra Valentine. I didn't have an extra Valentine, nor was I going to make one. Seriously, it is this many days after, it was for a good cause, you can't just let this go? I grabbed a box of those heart candies with all the sayings on them that someone gave me, scratched my name off, put hers on there, grabbed a pink post-it, drew a heart and wrote Happy Valentine's Day on it. I said, "There, happy freaking Valentine's Day." I'm just solving problems left and right.
I was getting ready to leave when one of the interns from another department needs something. Damn it, almost clear. The thing she needs is missing. It got "hidden" when the VIP's came. Again, I was infuriated. Why these people gotta mess with my stuff?! I went into this locked room we have that is called the prize room because it used to hold all kinds of prizes. Now it holds junk. And, when they cleaned the center, all the extra crap went in there. I was standing in the room, my vaccine site throbbing, my temples ready to explode and I'm cussing a blue streak. In that moment, I wanted to start grabbing stuff and throwing it and yelling at the top of my lungs like my Dad would have. I understood why he would destroy things in anger, it was extremely therapeutic. I needed that release...but I couldn't move my f*cking arms. Damn you Ass Kicker. Foiled again. Now, even more mad, I left. You know that tiger at the zoo pacing the fence because your kid looks like a gimpy gazelle and he wants to eat him? That was me. I was about to go buck wild in this zoo. Long story, a little bit shorter, I did manage to finally find what I was looking for, thankfully. All the visitors at the zoo would live to see another day.
I finally left work. On the way out, I walked by to say goodnight to one of my friends and she was crying, feeling hopeless and like she was being sucked into the swamps of sadness. Shit. What could I possibly say to her? What advice could I offer? I had nothing. I went through what she was going through. I just cowgirled up because I couldn't quit and eventually things got better. No one wants to hear that. No one believes that when they are in the swamp of sadness. I told her I was sorry. Maybe I should have told her to take her damn headset off and come with me and F this place. Maybe I should have told her to stop crying and suck it up. Maybe there was nothing I could say. Sigh. I don't like the people I love to be unhappy. I had to get the hell out of there. After all, I needed to stop at Target on the way home to buy gift cards. I hate doing that.
So, Target. Screaming baby. White trailer trash Mom talking to her very possibly pregnant 12 yr oldish daughter like she is a piece of crap and screaming at her. They followed me everywhere I went. I just needed some effing Vanilla Frosting Lip Smackers lip gloss and the freaking gift cards. Crikey! Get back to your trailer park, woman and buy some friggin condoms for teen Mom. I make it to the check-out line and some stupid old bag and her husband are ramming their cart up my ass. I'm trying to enter my pin number into the damn thing-a-ma-bob and Big Ass Bernice is on me like flies on shit. I was doing a slow burn. It was now time to buy the gift cards with the ol corporate card. I needed to sign, but kind of hard when she is completely inside my personal bubble. I took my whole body and took a step towards her, shoved my butt at her and then lengthened out my arms so I could sign in private. I still don't think she got it, but I don't effing care. AAAAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!
Finally, destination, home. I'm tired. Will is tired. The dogs are tired. The horses, mostly hungry. Another Monday, in the can. Over. Done.
Bring on Tuesday. Let's get to Friday as soon as possible.
Target
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