This Labor Day weekend Shark Bait and I will celebrate 10 years of marriage. On September 2, 2007 I said "I do" to the person that I was meant to find and spend the rest of my days making crazy. That poor guy. However, I never hid the true me. I let my crazy show. I waved the crazy flag proudly. He came into this relationshiop under full disclosure, with the exception of the blog name. I'm certain he didn't know on that amazing day that someday he would obtain a blog name and that it would be used on the regular about our crazy life. To be fair, I didn't know either, but some things are just meant to be, I guess.
Looking back, I didn't think that I would ever get married. I was pretty sure I'd die alone and that my 30 cats would eat off my carcass for weeks until someone finally found my remains. I mean, there is no guarantee that won't happen, I guess, since I'm still alive, but the good news is, I have Shark Bait and zero cats right now, so I am less likely to be used for cat consumption. Anyway, I met Shark Bait and he was goofy, but sweet. He was a gentleman and made me feel safe. We dated for two years before he proposed and then we married a year later. Our wedding day was so fun and so special, I will always recall it with the best of memories. My Dad walked me down the aisle and gave me away to this man that I loved and we were surrounded by family and friends. Best day ever.
Best day ever...and then life started coming at us fast and furious. Many of the problems that couples don't have to face for several years were thrust at us immediately. I guess it is lucky that we got married in our mid-thirties, because we seemed a little more emotionally equipped to handle it all. No matter what came our way though, we have never turned on each other, only turned towards each other. Don't get me wrong, there are days I want to punch him in the breadbasket, but we work it out. Shark Bait doesn't like conflict, which helps, I guess. I try and get him to fight with me sometimes and he won't do it. It kind of makes me mad sometimes, so I have to up the ante and get a bit hysterical. That usually gets his attention. Maybe by our 20th anniversary he'll learn to spar with me a bit so that I don't have to take it up to the next level.
The best thing about our marriage is that we have a comfort level with each other that some may say defies any sense of mystery or romance, but here's the deal, if I have something on my butt and I don't know if it is a zit, a bug bite or MRSA, I need someone to take a look at that. I don't have time for embarrassment, boundaries or disinterest. I could be dying and we won't know until someone looks at that spot on my butt that is itchy and sore. I'm not saying this happens a lot, I'm just saying, it's happened. Thankfully, Shark Bait is up for the task, which is good because I can't see back there and he can get a magnifying glass and really assess the situation, you know? Also, Shark Bait can't always tell when his eyebrows are closing in on a Bert and Ernie situation. I'm there for him. I got that plucking action down. It's give and take, but I know not everyone is about that kind of thing. Especially the bathroom door thing. Honestly, I'd like Shark Bait to close that door more frequently, but hey, whatever, everybody poops, right? They even wrote a book about it.
I know I don't have to go into a lot of detail about the kind of shenanigans we get into, because I've already blogged a lot about it. We'll just leave it here by saying, we're comfortable and I don't know if I could ever have that level of comfort with anyone else. It's not that I'm scared to show my butt to other people, but it's a safe kind of comfortable that I can't really explain, but I hope everyone can experience at some point in their life. If the butt example didn't clarify it, let me put it another way. It's the kind of comfortable that you can totally hate your body and how it looks, but you can stand there naked in front of this other person (with the light on) knowing that they love all of you and all they see is beauty. They don't see all the things you obsess about. They just see this person that they love so much and want to hold in their arms. That's the comfort level I'm talking about. I always tell Shark Bait the only reason he thinks I'm beautiful is because he has bad eyesight, but the reality is, he sees ALL of me, inside and out, crazy and sane, good times and bad. I'm pretty freaking lucky. And, it goes without saying how lucky he is with me, mostly because I make sure the bills get paid and the cable stays on. It's a love balance.
Shark Bait tells me he loves me every day, multiple times. He tells me I'm beautiful every day. He kisses me when I get up in the morning, he kisses me before we part ways and go to work, kisses me when we return home from work, kisses me before he falls asleep...every night. Even if we were mad, still the kiss. He holds my hand all the time in public and protects me in a crowd. He's just always there. Sure, I get after him for ignoring me on his phone or his Kindle, but in the big scheme of things, he's there.
Our marriage is not perfect. We struggle (mostly me because I over-analyze everything). Times get tough. What has made it work over the last ten years is that we aren't going anywhere. I'm not leaving, he's not leaving. As he likes to say to me as he points to his ring finger, "bought and paid for." No refunds, no returns, as is. We are in this for the long haul. He's my person, I'm his. It's that simple. It's love.
Happy 10 years, Shark Bait. Remember, I love you just enough to be your forever person, to fold your underwear correctly and to tell you where all the stuff is that you lost, but not enough to give you that last cookie...even though you are always willing to give me yours. I choose to believe you wouldn't have it any other way. I am your Squishy.
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| In the beginning... |
Looking back, I didn't think that I would ever get married. I was pretty sure I'd die alone and that my 30 cats would eat off my carcass for weeks until someone finally found my remains. I mean, there is no guarantee that won't happen, I guess, since I'm still alive, but the good news is, I have Shark Bait and zero cats right now, so I am less likely to be used for cat consumption. Anyway, I met Shark Bait and he was goofy, but sweet. He was a gentleman and made me feel safe. We dated for two years before he proposed and then we married a year later. Our wedding day was so fun and so special, I will always recall it with the best of memories. My Dad walked me down the aisle and gave me away to this man that I loved and we were surrounded by family and friends. Best day ever.
Best day ever...and then life started coming at us fast and furious. Many of the problems that couples don't have to face for several years were thrust at us immediately. I guess it is lucky that we got married in our mid-thirties, because we seemed a little more emotionally equipped to handle it all. No matter what came our way though, we have never turned on each other, only turned towards each other. Don't get me wrong, there are days I want to punch him in the breadbasket, but we work it out. Shark Bait doesn't like conflict, which helps, I guess. I try and get him to fight with me sometimes and he won't do it. It kind of makes me mad sometimes, so I have to up the ante and get a bit hysterical. That usually gets his attention. Maybe by our 20th anniversary he'll learn to spar with me a bit so that I don't have to take it up to the next level.
The best thing about our marriage is that we have a comfort level with each other that some may say defies any sense of mystery or romance, but here's the deal, if I have something on my butt and I don't know if it is a zit, a bug bite or MRSA, I need someone to take a look at that. I don't have time for embarrassment, boundaries or disinterest. I could be dying and we won't know until someone looks at that spot on my butt that is itchy and sore. I'm not saying this happens a lot, I'm just saying, it's happened. Thankfully, Shark Bait is up for the task, which is good because I can't see back there and he can get a magnifying glass and really assess the situation, you know? Also, Shark Bait can't always tell when his eyebrows are closing in on a Bert and Ernie situation. I'm there for him. I got that plucking action down. It's give and take, but I know not everyone is about that kind of thing. Especially the bathroom door thing. Honestly, I'd like Shark Bait to close that door more frequently, but hey, whatever, everybody poops, right? They even wrote a book about it.
I know I don't have to go into a lot of detail about the kind of shenanigans we get into, because I've already blogged a lot about it. We'll just leave it here by saying, we're comfortable and I don't know if I could ever have that level of comfort with anyone else. It's not that I'm scared to show my butt to other people, but it's a safe kind of comfortable that I can't really explain, but I hope everyone can experience at some point in their life. If the butt example didn't clarify it, let me put it another way. It's the kind of comfortable that you can totally hate your body and how it looks, but you can stand there naked in front of this other person (with the light on) knowing that they love all of you and all they see is beauty. They don't see all the things you obsess about. They just see this person that they love so much and want to hold in their arms. That's the comfort level I'm talking about. I always tell Shark Bait the only reason he thinks I'm beautiful is because he has bad eyesight, but the reality is, he sees ALL of me, inside and out, crazy and sane, good times and bad. I'm pretty freaking lucky. And, it goes without saying how lucky he is with me, mostly because I make sure the bills get paid and the cable stays on. It's a love balance.
Shark Bait tells me he loves me every day, multiple times. He tells me I'm beautiful every day. He kisses me when I get up in the morning, he kisses me before we part ways and go to work, kisses me when we return home from work, kisses me before he falls asleep...every night. Even if we were mad, still the kiss. He holds my hand all the time in public and protects me in a crowd. He's just always there. Sure, I get after him for ignoring me on his phone or his Kindle, but in the big scheme of things, he's there.
Our marriage is not perfect. We struggle (mostly me because I over-analyze everything). Times get tough. What has made it work over the last ten years is that we aren't going anywhere. I'm not leaving, he's not leaving. As he likes to say to me as he points to his ring finger, "bought and paid for." No refunds, no returns, as is. We are in this for the long haul. He's my person, I'm his. It's that simple. It's love.
Happy 10 years, Shark Bait. Remember, I love you just enough to be your forever person, to fold your underwear correctly and to tell you where all the stuff is that you lost, but not enough to give you that last cookie...even though you are always willing to give me yours. I choose to believe you wouldn't have it any other way. I am your Squishy.
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