This week has been an exhausting "charlie foxtrot" of events. I knew it would be stressful, but I didn't realize it was going to be utter chaos. Monday and Tuesday were filled with me trying to get stuff done so I could focus on packing up my desk. Everyone that sits on the South side of the building has to move to the North side of the building. I am the move coordinator for our group, so I am responsible for everyone else being ready and working with the movers, the IT folks, the phone guy, etc. It would not do for me to not be ready when it is my turn. My turn was Wednesday of this week. Thanks to my pals at work, I was mostly ready by Tuesday night. I would finish on Wednesday morning. No worries, right?
Wednesday is the day everything went to shit. Now, I can't say that it was all my fault, but I posted the following on my Facebook page on Wednesday morning before going to work: "If I expect all hell to break loose, maybe the day will "disappoint" me and be uneventful. Maybe I will try this approach." Don't EVER try this approach.
The dude in charge of building my new area came over to my desk and advised me that they needed to take my current desk apart to re-build it in my new area. Crap. I did some power packing and got the rest of my desk packed and relocated myself out on the sales floor among the sales people temporarily. This felt weird. Anyway, while I am sitting there, trying to get some crap done, my phone rings. It's my sister. She advises me that she was at my house and a tree had just fallen down and ripped out the power line that went from the road to my house and that the power meter had been ripped off the side of my house. Additionally, the tree had smashed our pump house. The power line was down across my porch so you can't get in. Effing Fantastic!!! Luckily my neighbors were calling it in to the PUD and contacting the landlord, etc. Good to have nice neighbors. So, now, I'm worried about my house, but nothing I can do, so I continue working. I hear the guys deconstructing my desk, "Gross, there are two dead mice over here." Sick. I walk over, and there, on a sticky pad, are what I believe to be the Romeo and Juliet of mice. I mean, why else would two mice be on there? When the first one crawled up on there and got stuck, what made that second one come over there? I don't know how smart mice are, but speaking as a human, if you walk into, say, quick sand, a huge crevasse, a cliff that is breaking away, or a huge sticky pad, I'm not coming for you. I'm just being honest. I checked to see if they were holding feet or had their tails intertwined, but that wasn't the case. They were kind of in a spooning position. I hope that one mouse wasn't trying to diddle the other mouse while it was stuck there. Fifty shades of "oh shit, I'm stuck." Anyway, I never put a sticky pad under there, so I have no idea how long they were there. I didn't have my CSI kit, so I couldn't poke the liver to guess time of death, but based on the fur and receding eye sockets, it's safe to say this was not a fresh kill.
Let's move on. They finally got my new area ready and I went and moved in. I needed to be ready for Thursday because we had another hiring open house. We all know how much I love those. I got as organized as I could and headed home. It was late and I was dreading going home to a house with no power. Upon arriving home, I realized the PUD had not yet come to turn our power off. Apparently, what had to happen is that the PUD had to turn us off and then, someone needed to clear the trees from the lines, and then, an electrician had to come fix the wiring on the house, and then the PUD would come back out and turn us on. This was not going to be resolved today. So, what I have, at this point, is a power line that is still live hanging off the side of my house and across my porch and my main door in. Okay people, time to limbo. This is not safe at all. It's still windy and I am looking at all these other trees that are blowing and bending. It's possible we could die tonight. I mean, I wasn't going to post that on Facebook, the universe already called my bluff once today. I go in the house and Will is sitting by the glow of a lamp. Apparently we have enough power to do one thing at a time. Like, one lamp, or one light and it kept dimming and flickering. Fan-fucking-tastic.
After many phone calls to the idiot landlord and debating on getting a motel, we decided to tough it out and stay. We made it through the night and were able to shower. Blow drying my hair in the dark only took like 20 minutes thanks to the super ridiculous small amount of power I had. I might as well have had someone blowing in my face. Anyway, since I hadn't slept most of the night, I was up way early. Off to work I go. I'm there by 7am. I walk in and my boss is sitting at my desk. WTF? He never gets here this early. I guess since I refused to pack his stuff, he had to get up early and come in at 5AM before the movers started to finish packing his office. His lap top is at my desk and he is working. I sit down at my PC next to him. Creepy. This is creepy. Anyway, it was just moments of being there that everyone came out of the woodwork needing things. Off I go!
My day was chaotic and crazy and I felt completely overwhelmed, but there was no time for that. It wasn't long and it was time for the open house to start. We always hope to attract some superstars. My favorite of the day was the older guy in a gray T-shirt with "mad scientist" hair that was clearly a long term smoker. I ask what kind of sales experience he has. He tells me he doesn't really have any. Well, he has some, but it was a LONG, LONG time ago. I imagine he is in his late 50's early 60's. I press him further. He finally tells me that the sales experience he has was selling candy bars for a fund-raiser in grade school. Okay, then. I then ask him about his computer skills. He says, it just so happens, he took a class down at the community college. I mean, he says, he doesn't have much skill, but some. We've got a live one. Let's get him down to testing and let nature take it's course.
It's getting close to 7pm, I've been at work for 12 hours now. I'm tired. I already know I have no power at home as the PUD finally came out and turned off my power. My husband calls and says, screw this, we are going to a motel and he has already made reservations. How exciting! He is even going to pack my stuff for me and meet me there. I provided him a list of everything I needed and hoped for the best.
I arrived at the motel he picked before he did. I was feeling a little skeptical. There was a cat going door to door trying to get in a room, any room. Then, there are a couple of scrungy looking kids hanging over the railing smoking. Then a truck pulls up next to me, a couple get out and just start going at it. I mean, groping, kissing, hands everywhere. Wow. Did they not understand that these rooms rent out for this type of thing and that they didn't have to actually have sex in the parking lot? Finally they finished up and she got in a car and left. Well, there is one less person that will be banging on the wall keeping me up all night. Will finally arrives and I give him a raised eyebrow. Really? This is what you picked? None the less, we got our room key and Will gets my bags out. Yes, I just said, "bags." Holy crap, what all did he bring me? This is just for one night, right? All that Boyscout training paid off, I guess. Anyway, we settled in and then ran over to Jack-in-the-Box for dinner since it was getting late. I felt completely exhausted and drained. I ate a few bites of my burger, a few bites of fries and I was done. Then I saw their dessert menu. I needed comfort. I ordered a piece of chocolate cake and Will got the Churro's. We went back to our motel, stripped down to our underwear and ate our fast food delights. I looked at Will lying on the bed in his boxers eating churos and myself on the couch eating something that I should not be eating, something that was actually making me sick and thought, I've hit bottom. We just needed some meth to make this a perfect moment for a Christmas card photo. Admittedly, I did take one pic of Will mostly naked eating his churro. No worries, it is for my personal enjoyment (and blackmail), I won't post it.
We finally crawled into bed and called it a day. The sheets were surprisingly soft. I couldn't help but wonder how many people had had sex on them, but was so tired, I remembered I didn't care and finally fell asleep. I slept okay until 2:30am when some girl next to us started giggling. LOUD. She must have been staying with a comedian, because she laughed A LOT. All Freaking Night. Yeah, getting a motel room was the answer to a restful night. Ugh. My cell phone alarm went off at 5:30am to the Gummy Bears song. Crap, how did that happen? Who set that as my wake up tone? No one is ready for that at 5:30am. I get up and turn on the light over the sinks. It is a florescent light that is buzzing and flickering. I have have bags under my eyes, my eye lids are red, I look like a bloodhound. I take a shower and upon getting out, I hear my phone go off. Will informs me it is snowing like a mo-fo in Everett. This is freaking fantastic as I am wearing a dress and shoes with a little bit of a heel. Great snow day outfit!!!! I would like a break. Anyone? Universe, I'm calling "Uncle." Truce? Please?
I drive to work and I'm so tired. I didn't have my vitamin shake this morning. No breakfast, so I am dragging. I'm driving in a blizzard and am unaffected as my eyes linger on the closed part of the blink a little longer than they should. I arrive to work to a few inches of snow in the parking lot and deep slush. I'm taking little baby steps and praying I don't end up on my ass.
I walk in the building and the security guard is giving instruction to the open house participants that are early. Instructions that are all wrong. I'm like, "WHOA. Everyone just have a seat, we will be with you shortly." The security guard throws his arms up, "my bad, sorry." I give him a smile I don't feel and say, "it's okay." I get to my desk and open my email which is containing about 5 fires that need to be put out. Sweet Jesus. I have a half day today as I have doctors appointments this afternoon, I don't have time for this crap.
I do the flight of the bumblebee until noon and then it is off to the doctor. We discuss my progress and how things are going, how my blood work was, what my future holds, etc. Then, he wants to see the "road map" on my belly. I pull up my dress. As he is taking in all my incisions and my belly and touching it and such, I couldn't help but think, "was today really the best day for the polka dot underwear?" Felt a little weird standing there holding up my dress like a pre-schooler on stage at a Christmas program. The doctor, naturally, did not comment on my underwear choice. He was too enamored with my extra belly button incision. Yeah, that's awesome, isn't it? He says it will go away. We'll see.
So, the end to my long day, and long week, was traveling the speed of a slug from Edmonds all the way home. The great end to my day was that the power was finally back on at our house. Will arrived home moments after me. We both changed out of our work clothes, climbed into bed with the dogs and took the best power nap ever. Home Sweet Home.
I guess the moral of this whole story is, do not joke around with the Universe. The Universe is a bitch and has a wicked-mean sense of humor. Crap, I just called the Universe a bitch. I'll never learn.
Wednesday is the day everything went to shit. Now, I can't say that it was all my fault, but I posted the following on my Facebook page on Wednesday morning before going to work: "If I expect all hell to break loose, maybe the day will "disappoint" me and be uneventful. Maybe I will try this approach." Don't EVER try this approach.
The dude in charge of building my new area came over to my desk and advised me that they needed to take my current desk apart to re-build it in my new area. Crap. I did some power packing and got the rest of my desk packed and relocated myself out on the sales floor among the sales people temporarily. This felt weird. Anyway, while I am sitting there, trying to get some crap done, my phone rings. It's my sister. She advises me that she was at my house and a tree had just fallen down and ripped out the power line that went from the road to my house and that the power meter had been ripped off the side of my house. Additionally, the tree had smashed our pump house. The power line was down across my porch so you can't get in. Effing Fantastic!!! Luckily my neighbors were calling it in to the PUD and contacting the landlord, etc. Good to have nice neighbors. So, now, I'm worried about my house, but nothing I can do, so I continue working. I hear the guys deconstructing my desk, "Gross, there are two dead mice over here." Sick. I walk over, and there, on a sticky pad, are what I believe to be the Romeo and Juliet of mice. I mean, why else would two mice be on there? When the first one crawled up on there and got stuck, what made that second one come over there? I don't know how smart mice are, but speaking as a human, if you walk into, say, quick sand, a huge crevasse, a cliff that is breaking away, or a huge sticky pad, I'm not coming for you. I'm just being honest. I checked to see if they were holding feet or had their tails intertwined, but that wasn't the case. They were kind of in a spooning position. I hope that one mouse wasn't trying to diddle the other mouse while it was stuck there. Fifty shades of "oh shit, I'm stuck." Anyway, I never put a sticky pad under there, so I have no idea how long they were there. I didn't have my CSI kit, so I couldn't poke the liver to guess time of death, but based on the fur and receding eye sockets, it's safe to say this was not a fresh kill.
Let's move on. They finally got my new area ready and I went and moved in. I needed to be ready for Thursday because we had another hiring open house. We all know how much I love those. I got as organized as I could and headed home. It was late and I was dreading going home to a house with no power. Upon arriving home, I realized the PUD had not yet come to turn our power off. Apparently, what had to happen is that the PUD had to turn us off and then, someone needed to clear the trees from the lines, and then, an electrician had to come fix the wiring on the house, and then the PUD would come back out and turn us on. This was not going to be resolved today. So, what I have, at this point, is a power line that is still live hanging off the side of my house and across my porch and my main door in. Okay people, time to limbo. This is not safe at all. It's still windy and I am looking at all these other trees that are blowing and bending. It's possible we could die tonight. I mean, I wasn't going to post that on Facebook, the universe already called my bluff once today. I go in the house and Will is sitting by the glow of a lamp. Apparently we have enough power to do one thing at a time. Like, one lamp, or one light and it kept dimming and flickering. Fan-fucking-tastic.
After many phone calls to the idiot landlord and debating on getting a motel, we decided to tough it out and stay. We made it through the night and were able to shower. Blow drying my hair in the dark only took like 20 minutes thanks to the super ridiculous small amount of power I had. I might as well have had someone blowing in my face. Anyway, since I hadn't slept most of the night, I was up way early. Off to work I go. I'm there by 7am. I walk in and my boss is sitting at my desk. WTF? He never gets here this early. I guess since I refused to pack his stuff, he had to get up early and come in at 5AM before the movers started to finish packing his office. His lap top is at my desk and he is working. I sit down at my PC next to him. Creepy. This is creepy. Anyway, it was just moments of being there that everyone came out of the woodwork needing things. Off I go!
My day was chaotic and crazy and I felt completely overwhelmed, but there was no time for that. It wasn't long and it was time for the open house to start. We always hope to attract some superstars. My favorite of the day was the older guy in a gray T-shirt with "mad scientist" hair that was clearly a long term smoker. I ask what kind of sales experience he has. He tells me he doesn't really have any. Well, he has some, but it was a LONG, LONG time ago. I imagine he is in his late 50's early 60's. I press him further. He finally tells me that the sales experience he has was selling candy bars for a fund-raiser in grade school. Okay, then. I then ask him about his computer skills. He says, it just so happens, he took a class down at the community college. I mean, he says, he doesn't have much skill, but some. We've got a live one. Let's get him down to testing and let nature take it's course.
It's getting close to 7pm, I've been at work for 12 hours now. I'm tired. I already know I have no power at home as the PUD finally came out and turned off my power. My husband calls and says, screw this, we are going to a motel and he has already made reservations. How exciting! He is even going to pack my stuff for me and meet me there. I provided him a list of everything I needed and hoped for the best.
I arrived at the motel he picked before he did. I was feeling a little skeptical. There was a cat going door to door trying to get in a room, any room. Then, there are a couple of scrungy looking kids hanging over the railing smoking. Then a truck pulls up next to me, a couple get out and just start going at it. I mean, groping, kissing, hands everywhere. Wow. Did they not understand that these rooms rent out for this type of thing and that they didn't have to actually have sex in the parking lot? Finally they finished up and she got in a car and left. Well, there is one less person that will be banging on the wall keeping me up all night. Will finally arrives and I give him a raised eyebrow. Really? This is what you picked? None the less, we got our room key and Will gets my bags out. Yes, I just said, "bags." Holy crap, what all did he bring me? This is just for one night, right? All that Boyscout training paid off, I guess. Anyway, we settled in and then ran over to Jack-in-the-Box for dinner since it was getting late. I felt completely exhausted and drained. I ate a few bites of my burger, a few bites of fries and I was done. Then I saw their dessert menu. I needed comfort. I ordered a piece of chocolate cake and Will got the Churro's. We went back to our motel, stripped down to our underwear and ate our fast food delights. I looked at Will lying on the bed in his boxers eating churos and myself on the couch eating something that I should not be eating, something that was actually making me sick and thought, I've hit bottom. We just needed some meth to make this a perfect moment for a Christmas card photo. Admittedly, I did take one pic of Will mostly naked eating his churro. No worries, it is for my personal enjoyment (and blackmail), I won't post it.
We finally crawled into bed and called it a day. The sheets were surprisingly soft. I couldn't help but wonder how many people had had sex on them, but was so tired, I remembered I didn't care and finally fell asleep. I slept okay until 2:30am when some girl next to us started giggling. LOUD. She must have been staying with a comedian, because she laughed A LOT. All Freaking Night. Yeah, getting a motel room was the answer to a restful night. Ugh. My cell phone alarm went off at 5:30am to the Gummy Bears song. Crap, how did that happen? Who set that as my wake up tone? No one is ready for that at 5:30am. I get up and turn on the light over the sinks. It is a florescent light that is buzzing and flickering. I have have bags under my eyes, my eye lids are red, I look like a bloodhound. I take a shower and upon getting out, I hear my phone go off. Will informs me it is snowing like a mo-fo in Everett. This is freaking fantastic as I am wearing a dress and shoes with a little bit of a heel. Great snow day outfit!!!! I would like a break. Anyone? Universe, I'm calling "Uncle." Truce? Please?
I drive to work and I'm so tired. I didn't have my vitamin shake this morning. No breakfast, so I am dragging. I'm driving in a blizzard and am unaffected as my eyes linger on the closed part of the blink a little longer than they should. I arrive to work to a few inches of snow in the parking lot and deep slush. I'm taking little baby steps and praying I don't end up on my ass.
I walk in the building and the security guard is giving instruction to the open house participants that are early. Instructions that are all wrong. I'm like, "WHOA. Everyone just have a seat, we will be with you shortly." The security guard throws his arms up, "my bad, sorry." I give him a smile I don't feel and say, "it's okay." I get to my desk and open my email which is containing about 5 fires that need to be put out. Sweet Jesus. I have a half day today as I have doctors appointments this afternoon, I don't have time for this crap.
I do the flight of the bumblebee until noon and then it is off to the doctor. We discuss my progress and how things are going, how my blood work was, what my future holds, etc. Then, he wants to see the "road map" on my belly. I pull up my dress. As he is taking in all my incisions and my belly and touching it and such, I couldn't help but think, "was today really the best day for the polka dot underwear?" Felt a little weird standing there holding up my dress like a pre-schooler on stage at a Christmas program. The doctor, naturally, did not comment on my underwear choice. He was too enamored with my extra belly button incision. Yeah, that's awesome, isn't it? He says it will go away. We'll see.
So, the end to my long day, and long week, was traveling the speed of a slug from Edmonds all the way home. The great end to my day was that the power was finally back on at our house. Will arrived home moments after me. We both changed out of our work clothes, climbed into bed with the dogs and took the best power nap ever. Home Sweet Home.
I guess the moral of this whole story is, do not joke around with the Universe. The Universe is a bitch and has a wicked-mean sense of humor. Crap, I just called the Universe a bitch. I'll never learn.
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