Parking, it seems so simple...and yet...

Why do the asshats and jackholes always park by me at work?  Why?  Today I was assaulted by a silver Nissan.  This person, in their infinite wisdom, decided to back in.  By backing in, this person put their driver door against my driver door.  They backed crooked, so their back tire was just inches from my front tire.  When this person got out of their vehicle, I am quite certain that they had to have touched my door with their door.  I know when I got into my truck, I certainly let my door touch their door.  Fat girls need room to maneuver.  I don't know if I have been clear about that in any of my other blog entries, but it is true. 

Was this person blind in one eye? Were they unconscious? Were they eating an egg mcmuffin? Was their spirit guide driving the vehicle on their behalf?  What possesses people to do this?  I mean, surely when they went to get out they realized their parking job was less than ideal.  They are lucky I was not driving some old beater, because I assure you, had I been,  I would have left a mark on that car.  Stupidity should be painful.  There should be consequences for bad parking and bad driving.  I would like to form a group to rise against these offenders.  I'm going to call it, B.A.A.D. - Bitches Against Asshat Drivers.  Our mission statement would be something like, "To create a world of spacious parking spots, uneventful freeway merging and bass free living."  B.A.A.D. members would be responsible for calling out and marking asshats and jackholes cars so that others would know to be wary of them.  We could come up with a symbol that represents what it means to be an asshat and then mark each car or truck on the hood.  You know, like the sign of Zorro, but maybe just leave some sort of big B or something.  I don't know, I just think these people should have their own parking lots and lanes on the freeway so the rest of us can navigate without trauma and near death experiences. 

It's either that, or I'm going to start carrying a baseball bat, in the name of justice, and leaving "love dents" in their doors.  We'll chalk it up to education.