Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Death of an FCD

I woke up this morning neither mad, nor happy.  Just went through the motions of the morning.  Pee, feed ponies, take shower, make shake, put on make-up, do hair, make lunch, have wardrobe crisis, leave for work.  Pretty basic.

My day progressed pretty normal. Four Feet of Fury scheduled a meeting for us at the time I usually go to the gym, so I guess today I will not go.  Which is okay.  I've been going four times a week and I'm pretty proud of myself for that.  I've discovered kick-boxing and that I actually like it.  Who knew? I've made some other changes to my lifestyle and I'm trying to be more patient.  I know, sounds like a load of crap, but one day at a time, people.  Anyway, I was confident in my choice not to go to the gym, but after the meeting with FFF, I started to feel sluggish and tired.  I wanted chocolate.  I wanted to go to the vending machine and self medicate.  I was strong, however, and I did not.  People were starting to make me crazy, though.  Crazy, hungry and now cranky?  I just leveled up.  Like, if I was playing Bejeweled or something, I would have just got a buttload of points.

As I was sitting at my desk, I noticed my FCD kept rolling up.  Now that I've lost a little weight, it doesn't fit like it used to, so now it is rolling to the middle of my belly.  This is not attractive in the dress I am wearing today.  It was making me angry.  At one point I had my dress completely pulled up in the front yanking at my FCD.  I looked around to see if anyone was catching the show.  No one was, but I decided I probably needed to reign this wardrobe adventure in.  Just then, the light over my desk started to flicker.  Well, that's relaxing.  Crazy, hungry, cranky and now I'm being tortured by florescent hell.  FFF walks up and says, "What's wrong?"  I said, "I hate people, I'm angry inside and my FCD is rolling up."  She looked confused, "I can tell your angry. What's an FCD?"  I explained to her that it was a fat controlling device. Her eyes got big and she said, "how does that work...?"  I was the one confused now.  I said, "Well, it's like Spanx, you know, girdle like?"  She laughs, "OHHHH, I thought you had like a machine or something working your stomach."  I laughed, but then thought, you know, I should get some electricity built into my FCD's and then my abs could be getting a workout while I'm holding it in...I think I have actually seen devices you wear that shock you.  I've been wasting time just  trying to harness it, I should have been working it! Damn it.

I continued about my day, trying to be less angry.  It wasn't working.  Valerina came over with her Taco Time, seducing me with her mexi fries, or potato tots or whatever the frick they are called, but I'll tell you what, they were calling ME.  I ate two and then looked at Valerina as my FCD rolled up again.  I said, "I've had it, I'm taking my scissors and I'm going into the bathroom."  Valerina said, "Well, okay then."  And just like that, I went to the ladies room, wait...that's a lie, there are no ladies in there, I headed over to the poop shack.  No one was in there, the coast was clear.  I chose the big stall.  I needed room to work.  I reached down in between my boobs.  I stopped.  I considered the price of these damn FCD's.  I considered the way my belly would look if I did it.  I considered how things would move as I walked around.  I considered what it would look like when I sat down.  And then, it happened, the Angry Pony inside me said, "you know what, Fuck it, I want to be comfortable!"  I reached down and cut it from my belly all the way to the top. I felt giddy inside.  A moment of remorse and the a new feeling of empowerment. Then, I reached over and cut the strap on my left arm, then on my right arm.  I pulled it free and threw it on the floor. My belly felt AMAZING! My boobs sagged a little, since that FCD was providing a little lift action, but thanks to the padding in a Victoria Secret bra, I was able to maintain a sense of order.  At least I can count on Vickie. Anyway, I contemplated leaving the FCD there on the floor.  It would be in good company. Other people's underwear, feminine products and feces had graced those floors.  No, it deserved a proper burial. I picked it up and carried it out and shoved it into the depth of the garbage can.  I looked in the mirror.  You really couldn't even tell I took it off.  I looked pretty much the same.  Hmmm, that's weird.  I felt a little naked and could feel my belly against the fabric of my dress.  I washed my hands, gave a full length look in the mirror, then a side ways look and decided, I was owning it as I left.



As I was leaving the poop shack and walking down the hall, I heard a whistle behind me.  I ignored it.  Then I heard it again.  I turned to see Sassy Pants giving me a grin from the break area.  Yep, this unleashed belly is really getting the ladies hot.  I made the right choice.

I spent the rest of the day with my blood flow working normally in the cells of my mid-section.  Internal organs...You.  Are.  Welcome.  I'm not saying I'll never wear another one, especially since I have several at home, but for today, in the fight of Angry Pony vs. Pranx...Angry Pony wins. 

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