Payphones vs. Bathroom stalls...

I sent this email out to my work group on Tuesday.  My boss asked me to address this issue in my "Cassondra way."  I wrote this and sent it out. In an effort to maintain employment, I kept it PG-13, but I really would have liked to get into more detail.  It was well-received and I have had several people thank me for addressing this problem.  Additionally, word of my email has gone viral, apparently, and I have random people in the building, not in my department, that are now requesting to be added to my distro list when I send these types of emails out.  I told my boss today that I am going to start asking for royalties on this stuff.  Without further adieu, here is my email.

Payphones vs. Bathroom Stalls

It has been brought to my attention that there may be confusion about the difference between a phone booth and a bathroom stall.  I find visuals are helpful.

 

 

Picture the following scenario.  You have just gone into the bathroom.  You pick a stall, go in and do the seat cover rodeo.  Finally, you settle in.  Then you hear, “hello?”  You think it is odd someone is talking to you, but you respond, “…hello….”  Then you hear, “What time are you done?”  You suddenly find yourself with performance anxiety.  Why does the girl wearing sandals (that is in desperate need of a pedi) in the stall next to you care how long you are in there?  You respond, “I’m doing the best I can here…”  Then you hear, “Excuse me, could you be quiet, I’m trying to have a conversation here.”  Apparently, the girl in the stall next to you was not talking to you.  She was talking to her kid on her phone.  Awkward.

 

I don’t know how you all feel about “stall talk,” but I have had numerous people come up to me and ask me to address this.  Now, I’m not the cell phone police, but I will say, I have learned a lot in the bathroom that I really wish I hadn’t.  I don’t really like it. I really just want to do my thing, in peace, and then return to the natural habitat of my cubicle.  And also, you’ve had your hands on everything in the bathroom, used your phone and then proceeded out.  You are basically taking the bathroom with you when you leave.  Hey, I’m not gonna lie, I’ve Facebooked in there or texted someone, but at least I was quiet, and I washed my hands…and sanitized my phone. AND, No one had to know that I “liked” someone’s unicorn picture. 

 

I think maybe we need some music in there, like at Red Robin or something, but until we do, this is just a “Dear Cassondra” etiquette bulletin, maybe save those conversations for outside of the bathroom. 

 

Disclaimer: This email was not intended to offend anyone, hurt anyone’s feelings or be a smack-down. If you were offended, maybe we can text each other about it next time we are in the bathroom.  Send me your number.